You’ve likely heard the statistic that one out of every two marriages in the U.S. will end in divorce. However, the reality is a lot more complicated than this, and a lot of the data points to the fact that the divorce rate is the lowest it’s been since 1970. Regardless of precisely how many marriages end each year, it can be useful to understand the most common reasons for divorce when you’re married or contemplating marriage yourself.
When you’re dreaming of your wedding day, it really puts a damper on things to imagine all the things that could go wrong in a marriage.
That being said, examining the reasons why people get divorced can give you valuable insight that might help you save your marriage before it goes sour.
So, why do people get divorced? Let’s take a look at the most common reasons.
Unfortunately, there is no cut-and-dry answer to this question. One study that we will reference repeatedly in this article, led by the researcher Shelby B. Scott at the University of Denver, polled 52 people that had been involved in a “prevention and relationship enhancement program” before marriage but still ended up getting divorced.
The study found that the top three major contributors to these marriages falling apart were lack of commitment, infidelity, and conflict/arguing. When participants indicated a “final straw” reason that led to their divorce, the most common three reasons were infidelity, domestic violence, and substance abuse.
Are you wondering if you can get divorced in Texas without hiring a lawyer? Check out this article about getting a DIY divorce in the Lone Star State.
According to a study published in Couple and Family Psychology, one of the most commonly reported major contributors to divorce was conflict and arguing, along with infidelity and lack of commitment.
All couples fight from time to time, and the complete absence of conflict can sometimes even point to a lack of communication and honesty in a relationship. However, when spouses are constantly embroiled in arguments and lack the ability to resolve them, it can create a truly uncomfortable and unsustainable situation at home.
According to some stats, excessive arguing plays a role in more than half of U.S. divorces. As you might imagine, always expecting a fight when you go home can put a serious strain on a marriage. Not only is it exhausting, but it can reduce the feeling of mutual support and positive connection in a relationship.
Another major contributor to divorce in the U.S. is financial problems. Many times, issues with money might not be the only factor that leads to a divorce, but they can seriously increase the amount of tension and stress within the marriage.
Having financial issues play a part in a divorce doesn’t even have to mean that a couple is facing bankruptcy or some other catastrophic money-related situation. Even having different “money styles” can create a tremendous amount of stress in a relationship.
For example, let’s say that you are committed to aggressively saving money and building wealth so you can retire early and gain financial independence. You can imagine that it could create a lot of conflicts if your spouse is the type of person that spends money as soon as it hits the bank account or is a compulsive shopper.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that couples have to have identical money styles in order to have a successful relationship. However, it is good for your financial goals to be harmonious with each other in the long term.
One way to help avoid financial problems in marriage is to create a prenup before you tie the knot. While a lot of people think that prenups are just documents you sign when you believe a marriage is doomed to fail, they can actually help you and your partner make decisions about how you will deal with money issues throughout your marriage.
It is surprisingly common for people to get married without having first discussed finances at any length. Not only can people neglect to talk about future financial goals, but they can also avoid conversations about the assets or debts that each person is bringing into the marriage.
Getting a prenup might be precisely what saves your marriage from financial disagreements and chaos. Check out this article to learn what a woman should ask for in a prenuptial agreement.
In the same study referenced above, lack of commitment was found to be one of the most commonly reported major contributors to divorce.
Marriage, in many ways, is one of the biggest commitments you can make in life. When you are married, it means that you are with your spouse through thick and thin– for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health– that type of thing. It is no small feat to be truly committed to another person through all the ups and downs in life.
If one or both partners is not fully committed to making the relationship work, it most likely won’t. Though this reason might sound vague and is likely often connected with other marital issues, a lack of commitment is by far one of the most common reasons that marriages fall apart.
Married people might decide to cheat on their spouses for a variety of reasons. In general, men and women tend to cheat for different reasons.
When men cheat on women, it is often because they aren’t sexually satisfied. Men often see sex and love as intimately connected, and not receiving what they need sexually can leave them feeling unloved.
Women, on the other hand, often cheat in order to try and fill an emotional void they feel. When explaining why they chose to be unfaithful to their husbands, women often say that they felt ignored or unappreciated and therefore sought the emotional intimacy they felt was lacking in their marriage.
Of course, these are just generalizations, and men can certainly cheat due to feeling emotionally unsupported and women can cheat because they aren’t feeling sexually satisfied. Both men and women can also be driven to cheat due to self-reported boredom in their marriage.
Relationships are complicated, which means that there are often a lot of interconnected issues that lead to a marriage falling apart. However, when it comes to divorce, many times there is a “final straw.” Along with domestic violence and substance abuse, infidelity was one of the most common “final straws” reported in the study referenced above.
If you generally feel you can’t trust your spouse, to be honest, you might need to watch out for sneaky tactics that are commonly employed during a divorce.
While we’re all aware of the stereotype of high school sweethearts that get married right after graduation and spend the rest of their lives joyfully together, marrying young isn’t always a recipe for matrimonial bliss.
Over the past half-century, the average marriage age has changed drastically. Back in 1960, nearly 60% of people between the ages of 18 and 29 were married. In 2010, fifty years later, the percentage of people in that age group that were married had dropped all the way down to 20%.
The median age that men and women got married in 1960 was in their early 20s. In 2011, the median age for a first marriage was 26.5 for a woman and 28.7 for a man.
In the study referenced above, it was found that marrying too young was a major contributing factor to divorce. The participants in the study that reported this as one of the reasons they got divorced had an average age of 23.3 years old when they got married.
Some people said that they wished they had dated their spouse longer before marriage, while others said that they had only known their spouse for a brief period before they decided to tie the knot.
In some cases, marrying too young can mean that people pair off before they have determined their values, goals, and beliefs in a way that can cause discord in the marriage. In others, though, couples can grow together in a way that creates a particularly harmonious marriage.
Substance abuse is another one of the most common “final straws” for people when they decide to get divorced. 12.1% of study participants that stated there was a final straw to their marriage reported that it was substance abuse that pushed them over the edge.
When one or both partners has a problem with drugs or alcohol, it can be a slippery situation indeed. The person who has the substance abuse issue might not admit it or even realize it, which can put a tremendous amount of strain on the relationship. On the other hand, one partner might accuse the other of having a substance abuse problem when that isn’t the case.
If either or both partners suffer from an addiction, though, it’s likely that the relationship is suffering as well. When a person is addicted to a substance (or behavior, for that matter,) seeking out the drug of choice can become the number one priority. Many other aspects of life fall by the wayside, including finances, family relationships, domestic stability, and more.
As you might imagine, one of the reasons that marriages fall apart is that one or both partners feel that they are being abused. Abuse can be emotional, physical, verbal, sexual, or fiduciary.
Sadly, people will often stay in abusive relationships for longer than they should because they are emotionally tied to their abusive partner or because they are afraid of what might happen if they leave.
For this reason, abused partners often won’t leave until they feel that things have gotten so intolerable there is no other option. Things can also get very complicated when a child is involved.
In cases of extreme abuse, an individual might need to seek outside help and legal assistance in order to safely leave the marriage.
There are a lot of different ways that marriages can go south in regard to the emotional relationship between people. If you have realized that you’re married to a narcissist, you likely know that you are in a particularly tricky situation. Whether or not they are abusive toward you, divorcing a narcissist can require specific considerations and tactics because of the psychological traits of narcissism.
If you need to get divorced from a narcissist, you’ll want to check out this article before you make any moves.
Despite the whole “in sickness and in health” part of the traditional marriage vows, health problems are actually one of the most common reasons for divorce. While this might sound cruel, you have to imagine the reality that illness can create serious financial issues.
When one partner has serious health problems, it often requires the other partner to step up to the plate. Not everyone might know how to do this, and it can seriously change what they expect their marriage and life to be like. At the end of the day, some marriages fall apart when debt, pain, loss of self, and all the other stuff that can come along with a serious illness.
Lack of family support is also not an uncommon factor when it comes to why people get divorced– according to one study, 17.3% of respondents cited it as one of the reasons their marriage ended.
According to the Huffington Post, one 26-year-long study found that the risk of divorce decreased by 20% when the husband had a close relationship with his wife’s family. However, the risk of divorce actually increased when a wife had a close relationship with her husband’s family.
One of the researchers behind the study insinuated that there are lessons to be learned here in terms of how relationships with our in-laws can impact our marriage. In short, husbands should work to build relationships with their in-laws. Women, on the other hand, should put in place and maintain boundaries with their in-laws.
According to a study from the Pew Research Center, nearly 70% of married individuals say that their spouse shares the same religion as they do. Several studies have found that there is greater marital instability in interfaith marriages than in marriages where the two partners share the same basic religious beliefs.
Have you ever seen a couple that seemed to not particularly fight much, but they also didn’t seem like they really knew each other? Unfortunately, sometimes people settle into relationships with their spouses where they are more like really good roommates than husband and wife.
It isn’t uncommon for couples to report that they “Can’t communicate.” This can mean a number of different things, including:
Sometimes, the people in a relationship simply haven’t learned the necessary communication skills. In other instances, those, these communication problems can be masking deeper problems that are lying under the surface.
Sometimes, the end of a marriage isn’t a big dramatic circumstance involving infidelity, betrayal, and enormous, blow-out fights. In some instances, two people really just grow apart.
This can mean a lot of different things. It might mean that the couple grows apart in their political views, their religious views, their financial goals, or their sense of what they want out of life.
That being said, that doesn’t mean that growing apart cant create immense amounts of discord in a relationship. It can take a while to realize that the two of you are going separate ways. Similarly, you might have to take some time to determine whether or not the two of you can stay together despite the fact that you have been changing and evolving in separate directions.
In some cases, one or both spouses have unrealistic expectations of what marriage even really consists of.
They might expect marriage to b
e some type of fairy tale and for the honeymoon phase to carry on infinitely. In reality, this isn’t really how things normally go. If no one in your family or life has helped you understand what to expect out of marriage as the years go on, it might lead you to realize that married life really isn’t what you thought you were signing up for.
Having a healthy sexual relationship is an important part of any marriage. While what this specifically means for different couples might vary widely, it is generally agreed that a lack of intimacy can take a serious toll on just about any relationship. While it is possible to make a sexless marriage survive, it’s often not easy.
Intimacy isn’t just about the fact that people are human and have sexual urges. Intimacy requires a lot of ingredients that can help to build strong relationships, including:
Having a healthy intimate relationship with your spouse is one of the things that helps the two of you bond. When a relationship lacks intimacy, it can be one of the driving factors behind the marriage bond being severed.
While lack of intimacy can happen for a lot of reasons, one of them is impotence. In many states, impotence is considered a valid cause of divorce because it is understood that intimacy is an essential part of a healthy marriage.
Infertility is also a common cause of divorce in the United States. A lot of the time, individuals have a sense of whether or not they expect to have kids. When one partner isn’t biologically able to have children, it can mean that the other partner has to decide whether they are willing to compromise their expectation of having children in their lives.
The realization of infertility can be completely devastating to a marriage. While some couples might decide to adopt or otherwise choose to carry on child-free, others might choose to end the marriage and go their separate ways. According to one study, infertile couples are three times more likely to get divorced when they fail to conceive a child after treatment versus those that don’t.
Making a decision about whether you should get divorced or try to make your marriage work is likely one of the most impactful choices you’ll ever make. While it can feel overwhelming, one of the best things you can do is empower yourself with knowledge of your rights and responsibilities under the law.
Do you live in Texas? Are you wondering what you need to know about the divorce process in the Lone Star State? If so, be sure to check out our ever-expanding library of resources at TexasDivorceLaws.org.
Have you ever heard the quote “an hour of planning can save you ten hours of doing”? When it comes to getting ready for a divorce, this advice is spot on. In order to help you get and stay organized as you prepare for divorce, we’ve created this Texas divorce checklist.
We’ve talked at length in other posts about topics ranging from how to file for a divorce without a lawyer in Texas to what you should expect from a contested divorce.
There’s a lot of planning and preparation that can happen before you file your divorce petition, though, and a lot of things to consider outside of the realm of lawyers, judges, and courts.
Let’s take a look at what to include in your divorce preparation checklist so you can tackle this thing from all angles.
There’s no way to entirely avoid the stress of divorce, but being organized and prepared can go a long way. Resist the urge to procrastinate the tasks that will be necessary to complete your divorce in a swift manner. Instead, you’ll want to approach this as a project where the more organized you are, the quicker and more painless the process will be.
If you leave everything to the last minute, your divorce won’t just be more stressful but you might not end up with the outcome that works best for you.
We’ll get into the nitty-gritty of gathering financial and legal documents a little later on, but one of the most important items on your checklist is going to be building a team of people you can rely on. While this includes lawyers, it’s essential that you don’t overlook the more personal needs you’ll have during this time.
Divorce is not just a legal process, it is something that impacts every corner of your life. If you treat it like a business deal, the reality is that you won’t be seeing it from a holistic perspective.
It should come as no surprise to you that getting divorced can be an incredibly emotional experience. It’s great to have close family members or friends that you can lean on when you are feeling distraught, sad, overwhelmed, or fearful.
At the same time, it might be a good idea to reach out to a minister, spiritual advisor, or professional counselor. This can be particularly important if you have dealt with major trauma, whether or not that trauma has anything to do with the spouse you’re getting divorced from.
According to a 2017 article published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 75%-90% of human diseases are related to the stress system being activated. You might think that being stressed out is primarily a concern for your mental health, but that’s actually far from the truth. Our bodies know how to deal with small doses of stress, but long-term stress can affect every system of your body.
If you are suffering from chronic stress, it puts you at a higher risk of developing a number of health problems, including:
Considering that divorce is considered to be one of the most stressful life events you can go through, it isn’t overkill to assume you should put stress management and your physical health on the top rung of your prioritization ladder.
There are a lot of things you can do to keep your physical body in good shape and your stress levels under control during the divorce process. While everyone can benefit from getting exercise, eating nutritious foods, and learning to manage stress, you can also find activities that you enjoy that support your physical health. Some options include:
It might seem a bit much to focus so much on physical health and stress reduction in an article about what to include in your divorce preparation checklist. However, your mental and physical health is the foundation on which all of the other aspects of the process will stand.
Depending on your financial situation, you might want to talk to a financial planner. If you and your spouse don’t have any assets or debts, this might not be necessary. However, you want to make sure that you both understand the financial implications of divorce and are able to make a plan ahead of time when it comes to your financial future on your own.
It is possible to get divorced without a lawyer in Texas, but it’s only really recommended in certain circumstances. For example, if you and your spouse are going through a truly amicable divorce where you agree on all of the terms, don’t have particularly complicated finances, and don’t have children, filing for and obtaining a divorce can be fairly straightforward.
You’ll want to avoid the temptation to refrain from getting a lawyer just to save money, though. In all but the simplest of divorces, having experienced legal counsel can mean the difference between a reasonable outcome from the divorce and a disastrous one.
That being said, the more you and your spouse can agree on regarding the terms of your divorce, the less expensive hiring a lawyer will be. While it’s perfectly natural to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed when you’re faced with a divorce, it’s best to avoid the urge to wage war against your ex with your lawyer as a weapon.
The divorce process can feel so litigious and financially focused that the personal and spiritual aspects of what it means to end a marriage can get put on the backburner.
When your marriage ends, it can turn your world upside down. You can lose faith in things you once believed in and question your own judgment or worth. You might find that everything that was once certain now seems suspect. There is tremendous potential for growth in these difficult times, but it's a good idea to find people who you feel can help support you spiritually before, during, and after your divorce.
If you’ve decided you’re getting a divorce but haven’t told your spouse yet, you’ll want to put some thought into how you’re going to bring the topic up as well as the appropriate time and place to do so. It’s probably not a good idea to tell your husband or wife that you want a divorce on their birthday, Christmas, or an anniversary, for example.
It’s sometimes recommended to discuss divorce in a neutral place. This can avoid the distractions and loaded memories of your home environment.
If you have children, you’ll need to start thinking about what your new parenting arrangement will look like. In a best-case scenario, you and your spouse will agree on this arrangement so that the courts don’t have to decide for you.
Getting divorced is going to require that you fill out a bunch of forms with tons of personal information. When you know that you’re going to be getting a divorce, no time is too early to start collecting and organizing this information.
The information you’ll need for both you and your spouse include:
For yourself, you might need to have proof of state residency. In the state of Texas, one of the following documents can be provided as proof of domicile:
In addition, you’ll have to prove your physical Texas residency with another document from this list. It’s also possible to get a witness to testify in writing that you live in the state of Texas.
You’ll also want to gather your usernames and passwords to all of your online accounts. As we’ll mention later, it’s probably a good idea to change all of your passwords to ensure your finances and personal information are secure.
You’ll also need to gather marital information to share with your attorney. This may include:
When providing this information to your lawyer, it’s best to keep it on-point and businesslike. Even if the reasons behind your divorce are painful, venting is often best saved for discussions with a therapist or your close personal support network.
If you have already started your divorce and there are temporary orders in place, you’ll want to have the following documents nearby:
You also might need to collect information about your children. Children that are under eighteen or adult children that are over eighteen if::
For children that fall within these categories, You’re going to need personal information including:
If your spouse is making it difficult to collect information about your children or themselves, work with your lawyer to obtain the necessary documents and info.
You’re going to need to inventory the property that you own individually as well as the property that you own jointly with your spouse. You’ll want to list the name of each item along with its value. Take pictures of your belongings as proof and gather any relevant paperwork.
The types of property that you might put in your inventory include:
You’ll want to focus on the items that are most valuable and that you are most interested in protecting. For smaller items, you can group them together and don’t have to go crazy assessing their value. For your items of value, you can either get a professional appraisal or conduct your own online research to estimate value.
You’ll also need a bunch of legal documents as a part of the divorce process. If you’re struggling to gain access to documents because your spouse is being difficult, work with your lawyer to get what you need. Depending on your situation, you might need additional documents or you might not require all of the documents listed below.
You’ll want to make sure you make any necessary updates to your insurance policies. For health insurance, you probably won’t be able to make changes to existing insurance until the divorce has been finalized.
Your liabilities include any credit card debt, mortgages, vehicle loans, student loans, personal loans, or other debts you have either alone or with your spouse.
You’ll want to update your will and power of attorney as a part of the divorce process.
Whether you own a business, your spouse owns a business, or you own it jointly, you’ll need to gather legal documents about the business.
If you haven’t already, you’ll also want to collect your marriage license and any prenuptial or postnuptial agreements you’ve made.
You can learn about the Texas divorce forms you’ll need in this article.
Unfortunately, arguments over money are one of the most common reasons that people get divorced. You’ll likely face a lot of financial changes after divorce, so it’s a good idea to get organized and make a plan as soon as possible.
With your personal information and legal document collection, you’ve already gathered some important financial information. However, you’ll also want to collect information regarding:
This is a good time to collect all of your login information for your financial accounts. Take the time to change your passwords if you are worried about your spouse maliciously accessing your accounts.
For all of your legal, financial, and personal documents, consult with your lawyer about what will be required in your particular circumstance.
Texas is only one of nine states that is a community property state. This means that, in general, any property you acquired as a couple when you were married is considered to be equally owned by both of you. Talk with your lawyer to understand the implications of this when it comes to the division of assets in your divorce.
Divorce brings about many changes, including financial ones. It’s a good idea to start building your own emergency fund as soon as you know you’re getting divorced. This way, you can transition as seamlessly as possible after the divorce is finalized.
If you’re stressed about the cost of divorce, sit down and make a budget. Creating (and sticking to) a budget can help remove some of the anxiety surrounding finances during this time.
There’s a difference between opening a new bank account when you realize you’re getting divorced and cleaning out a shared bank account and moving it into one with just your name on it. Work with your lawyer if you want to start separating your finances to make sure you’re staying within the bounds of the law.
In a community property state like Texas, you and your spouse are equally responsible for the debts you picked up when you were married. Even if your spouse is ordered to pay off a debt in a divorce decree, creditors can come after you if they fail to pay. Work with a financial planner and your lawyer to make sure your credit is protected.
Another important decision is whether you and your spouse will continue living together until the divorce is finalized. In general, though, one of you will need to move out. You’ll want to be realistic about your new financial situation to ensure that your post-divorce living situation is one that is affordable and sustainable.
If possible, you’ll want to avoid divorce court. The best-case scenario is getting an agreed divorce in the state of Texas, but that might not be feasible for you. Regardless, it’s a good idea to understand the different options when it comes to getting a divorce including their cost and typical timeline.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “knowledge is the antidote to fear.” If you’re feeling anxious or afraid in regards to your Texas divorce, one of the best things you can do is to educate yourself about the laws surrounding marriage and divorce in the Lone Star State. If you have questions and you’re searching for answers, check out our library of resources at TexasDivorceLaws.org.
If you’ve decided to file for divorce or your spouse has spoken to you about ending your marriage, you probably have a lot of questions, concerns, and fears swimming around in your head. As most people are aware that getting divorced can be an incredibly expensive endeavor, there’s a good chance that one of these questions is: can you get divorced without a lawyer in Texas?
In short, the answer is yes.
Before you stop reading, though, you’ll want to think pretty carefully about whether that’s the right choice for you. Depending on your specific situation, getting a DIY divorce might be the perfect solution or it might lead to an unfair outcome and a lot of stress.
While it can be tempting to try and save thousands of dollars on legal fees, those savings might not be worth it if you end up with a settlement or court decision that is unfavorable to you. For that reason, stick with us while we look at what you should know about getting divorced without a lawyer in Texas.
In most states, you aren’t required to hire a lawyer in order to obtain a divorce. Texas is no exception.
Before you head to the courthouse and start filling out the necessary paperwork, though, you’ll want to carefully examine whether or not you’ll be able to handle your own divorce.
It can be tempting to get a DIY divorce in Texas in order to save money on legal fees. And, in some cases, getting a divorce without a lawyer might be an accessible and affordable route to take. If you try to get a divorce without a lawyer, though, and the whole thing is a bit above your pay grade, you could end up making costly mistakes that leave you with a seriously undesirable outcome after the divorce.
In the next section, let’s take a look at some questions you should be asking yourself to determine whether a DIY approach is right for you.
Once you know that you are going to pursue a divorce, you’ll want to familiarize yourself with the different options on the table. These include:
That final option is generally not recommended. As the old saying goes, “the man who is his own lawyer has a fool for his client.” If you feel compelled to represent yourself, though, you’ll be glad to know that it is possible to do so in the state of Texas.
Were you served with the divorce paperwork and you’ve learned that your spouse has an attorney? If so, you’re likely going to want to hire one of your own.
The legal system is complicated and the world of family law is no exception. If your spouse has a lawyer acting on their behalf, you’ll likely be at a serious disadvantage during the negotiation and settlement process if you don’t have someone equally knowledgeable on your side.
A no-fault divorce is significantly less complicated than a fault-based divorce. When you file for a no-fault divorce, it means that the dissolution of the marriage isn’t the fault of either spouse. There are three no-fault grounds for divorce in Texas, which are:
There are a number of additional fault-based grounds on which an individual can file for divorce, including:
If you or your spouse chooses to claim fault-based grounds for divorce, it means that the person making the claim needs to prove their spouse’s misconduct. Even if you could reasonably file for divorce on fault-based grounds such as adultery, you might decide to move forward with a no-fault divorce in order to finalize the divorce sooner and have the ability to start your life over.
When one of you is pursuing a fault-based divorce, though, you’re definitely going to want a lawyer.
If you and your spouse have minor children (or adult children that have a mental or physical disability requiring significant care and supervision), you’re going to need to decide on issues like custody, child support, and visitation rights.
Maybe you and your spouse agree on all of the issues about your children. If this is the case, you still might be able to go through with a DIY divorce. However, children generally make divorces more complicated and you might want to at least have a consultation with a lawyer to get a sense of what the process will involve and whether or not you can realistically handle it on your own.
If you and your spouse don’t agree on all of the issues, you’ll probably want to undergo divorce mediation in an effort to reach a settlement. If you can’t come to an agreement at that point, a judge will decide on the terms of child care, support, and related issues for you.
In general, it’s a good idea to consult with a lawyer if there are children involved in the divorce. If you and your spouse don’t agree on all terms related to your children, it is definitely advisable to get a lawyer.
Maybe you and your spouse don’t have any property or debts shared between you. Or, maybe you are in full agreement in terms of how to divide the property and debts you do have. If that’s the case, you are a good candidate for getting a divorce without a lawyer.
However, even if you are in full agreement, the more complicated your finances are, the more complicated all of the paperwork is going to be. This means that you might choose to incorporate a lawyer even if you agree on how to divide all of your assets and liabilities.
If you aren’t in agreement over how to split your property and financial obligations, though, you’ll probably want to lawyer up.
It’s important to note that Texas is one of the few states in the U.S. that is a community property state. This means that all of the property that was acquired together during your marriage is considered community property.
Another consideration is spousal support, which is often referred to as alimony. This arrangement typically occurs when one spouse has a higher income than the other. In these instances, the higher-earning spouse might make payments to the lower-earning spouse after the divorce.
If you and your spouse agree on the terms of alimony, you might be ok going through the process without a lawyer. If there’s disagreement in this regard, though, a lawyer is likely going to be necessary. You might choose to go through mediation without the help of a lawyer, but you can also involve your lawyer in the mediation process if you have one.
If the divorce is truly amicable and you both decided that splitting up is the right choice, a DIY divorce becomes a lot more reasonable.
In a recent post, we went into great detail about how to file for divorce without a lawyer. As a brief overview, here are some of the essential steps you’ll need to take if you want to get a DIY divorce:
You can save quite a bit of money by getting a divorce without a lawyer to the tune of thousands of dollars. That being said, the outcome of a divorce can have a major impact on the quality of your life after a divorce. If you and your spouse aren’t in full agreement on the terms of a divorce, it’s likely best to get a lawyer.
If you’re getting a DIY divorce, there are some terms you will definitely want to familiarize yourself with.
If you and your spouse agree about all the issues in your divorce, including child support, custody, and visitation, and are both willing to sign the forms in your divorce, it is considered an agreed divorce in the state of Texas.
The state of Texas is one of nine “community property” states in the U.S. In most cases, this means that marital assets and debts that have been obtained during the marriage are considered to belong legally to both spouses. The other states are known as “equitable distribution” states.
If you and your spouse don’t agree on all of the terms of the divorce, the divorce is considered contested. In these instances, it is not recommended that you try to go through the process without seeking help from an attorney. You can check out our in-depth guide to learn more about contested divorce in Texas.
If one party doesn’t respond to the divorce petition, the divorce doesn’t simply pause. Instead, it can continue as a default divorce.
Both divorce and annulment qualify as methods that result in the dissolution of marriage.
The spouse that begins the process of divorce legally is known as the Petitioner. Whichever spouse files the petition for divorce with the court is the Petitioner, regardless of which spouse first proposed the idea of getting divorced.
If you are representing yourself in a divorce proceeding rather than hiring a lawyer, the courts will refer to you as a pro se litigant.
The spouse that does not file the petition for divorce is known as the Respondent. In an agreed divorce, they can choose to waive their right to be served with divorce paperwork. Otherwise, they will need to file an answer within a specific timeline. If you don’t file an answer by the deadline, the Petitioner can carry forward and seek a default divorce.
These terms refer to the formal process of notifying an individual they are being sued. While you might not realize it, filing for divorce is, by nature, filing a lawsuit against your spouse.
The term uncontested divorce is sometimes used as a synonym for an agreed divorce and in other instances, it is used interchangeably with the term default divorce. For this reason, it’s worth being certain that you understand which way the term is being used if you come across it in legal resources.
If you are able to get a divorce without a lawyer in a way that doesn’t lead to damaging outcomes for you, your spouse, or your children, the cost will likely be only a few hundred dollars. With filing fees ranging from $250 to $350 depending on which Texas county you live in, and a handful of other court fees usually tacked on top, a divorce without a lawyer is typically a lot less expensive than hiring an attorney.
You can learn more about how much it costs to get divorced in Texas in this article.
There are some compelling reasons why you might want to get a divorce without a lawyer in Texas. As mentioned above, though, you’ll want to be aware of how your particular circumstance impacts whether you should enlist the help of an experienced attorney.
One of the reasons you’re probably interested in getting a divorce without a lawyer is in order to save money. If you can avoid hiring a lawyer in a way that isn’t damaging or hurtful to you, your spouse, or your children, you can save thousands of dollars during the divorce process.
You can’t avoid the mandatory filing fees of the court and other associated costs, but if you’re in a position where a DIY divorce is a reasonable choice, you can avoid the legal fees associated with hiring a lawyer.
If you are a good candidate for a DIY divorce, it means that your divorce is fairly simple and the two of you are in agreement on all major issues. That being said, you can’t get divorced without at least handling some paperwork, and this will be a time cost. You’ll want to make sure that you're filling out all the documents correctly and that you don’t miss any deadlines outlined by the court.
For this reason, it’s worth noting that hiring a good attorney will make a simple divorce even simpler. Talk to a few attorneys in your area about how much it would cost to file for a simple, uncontested, no-fault divorce or to hire them for ad hoc services occasionally when you need help. You might find that it’s worth the cost in order to have peace of mind that everything is being filed correctly and to save you the time of doing legal research on your own.
An uncontested, no-fault divorce with an uncomplicated estate to divide will be much faster than a contested, fault-based divorce that involves complicated finances. If you’re a good candidate for a DIY divorce, the process can be a lot less painful and much quicker. However, there isn’t much you can do about the mandatory waiting period in Texas (sixty days,) and if your divorce is simple enough to make a DIY divorce a good decision, it will likely be equally as fast if you hire a lawyer or if you go it alone.
We’ve already discussed at length the reasons why you might want to get a lawyer if you’re getting divorced in Texas. Assuming that you and your spouse are in agreement about all the terms of the divorce and your estate isn’t complicated, there are still some downsides to getting a divorce without a lawyer that you’ll want to consider before going it alone.
If you’ve never gone through a divorce before or aren’t a legal professional, you might not be able to anticipate some of the common issues that arise during the divorce process. Even if everything goes fairly smoothly, you and your spouse will likely spend quite a bit of time doing your own research about the proper forms to fill out, how to fill them out, and the deadlines you’ll need to meet.
It’s possible that there are options on the table that would result in a better outcome for you, your spouse, and your children. However, if you don’t know those options are there, you won’t know to pursue them. It’s possible that forgoing the opportunity to have a lawyer can leave you to miss out on helpful advice.
It really is great news if you and your spouse are able to get an amicable divorce, but you do want to make sure that you aren’t agreeing to an outcome that’s actually unfair to you. There might be benefits you deserve that you’re missing out on without seeking the counsel of a lawyer.
If getting a divorce without a lawyer doesn’t seem like a good idea but you can’t afford to hire one, you might have some options. You’ll want to search for legal aid in your area or a volunteer lawyers program to learn what resources might be available to you.
It’s worth noting, though, that these organizations typically have qualifications that you will need to meet in order to be able to receive discounted or free legal aid. For example, it might be required that your income fall below a certain amount. Similarly, it’s common for law school clinics to only take on simple divorce cases such as those that involve minimal property and no children.
There can also be very long waiting lists for these types of programs.
In certain cases, it’s possible that you will be entitled to a free lawyer. However, this is usually only when a lawsuit is being brought against you by the government.
Whether you’ve decided to call a few lawyers for consultations or you feel confident that you can go it alone, it’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with Texas family law when you’re getting divorced. The legal system can seem unnecessarily complicated, but it’s what we’ve got. In order to best prepare for your divorce with or without legal counsel, it’s a good idea to learn about your rights and responsibilities under Texas Law.
If you’re looking for legal resources when you’re getting divorced in Texas, you’ve come to the right place. Be sure to check out our growing library of articles at TexasDivorceLaws.org.
If you’re getting divorced in the Lone Star State, the best case scenario is definitely an agreed divorce as opposed to a contested divorce in Texas. When you and your spouse are able to resolve any disagreements you have over things like dividing property and child custody before you file for divorce, the process can be a lot simpler, cheaper, and less stressful.
However, life doesn’t always go the way you want it to, and sometimes you and your spouse simply cannot reach an agreement on all divorce related issues.
If this is the case, your only option will be to proceed with a contested divorce. What is a contested divorce, and what is the process like?
Let’s dive in and explore everything you need to know about getting a contested divorce in Texas.
A contested divorce is when both parties don’t agree on all the issues related to dissolving a marriage. This is the most complicated type of divorce because, one way or another, the parties will have to reach some sort of resolution regarding the terms of their divorce. If the spouses aren’t able to come to an agreement on their own or through some form of mediation, the court will ultimately decide the details of their divorce.
If one spouse wants to get a divorce and the other doesn’t, this is also considered a contested divorce. Similarly, if one party wants to file a no-fault divorce while the other wants to proceed on fault-based grounds, the divorce is contested.
An uncontested divorce, on the other hand, is when spouses are able to agree on all of the issues related to dissolving the marriage. This is the simplest way to get a divorce. In certain instances, couples might even be able to get a divorce without the hiring a lawyer, which can save a lot of money during the process.
When a married couple begins the process of getting divorced, they can either seek an uncontested divorce (often referred to as an agreed divorce in Texas) or an uncontested divorce.
In an agreed divorce, both spouses are able to agree on all of the issues related to the divorce. These terms might include but aren’t limited to:
Even if spouses agree on all but one issue, the divorce is considered to be a contested divorce.
Probably the most impactful difference between these two types of divorces is the length of the process and the cost of getting a divorce.
It generally costs the same amount of money to actually file for divorce regardless of whether it is agreed or contested. However, spouses that are embroiled in a contested divorce are a lot more likely to rack up bills for attorney’s fees and other related costs.
Even if you begin your divorce in a contested manner in Texas, the waiting period required by state law can allow you some time to sort out your differences and work toward an agreement before the case goes to trial.
If your partner is being particularly nasty in relation to your desire for a divorce, there’s a chance they will try to sabotage the process. Check out these sneaky divorce tactics to have a sense of what you should watch out for.
If you are getting a divorce in Texas but you and your spouse can’t agree on all of the involved issues, the process can be more costly and time-consuming than if you are able to come to a resolution on the terms of the divorce. Let’s take a look at the steps you should expect to take in a contested divorce in Texas.
The state of Texas has residency requirements when it comes to getting a divorce. Before you start filing out the divorce forms, you’ll want to make sure that you meet the requirements of Texas courts.
In order to get a divorce in the state of Texas, you must have lived:
For people with unusual living situations, there are a few exceptions.
For example, if one spouse has lived in Texas for at least six months but the other spouse lives in a different county, state, or country, you can still get a divorce in Texas.
Another exception is for spouses that are stationed on military bases. For military personnel that have been stationed in the state for at least six months and the country for at least ninety days, it is still legal to get a divorce in Texas even if it isn’t technically your state of residence.
If you are a Texas resident but you work serving the Texas or United States government elsewhere in the country or the world, you can still file for divorce in Texas.
While you can get a contested divorce without an attorney, it is generally advised that you find a lawyer you are comfortable working with when you and your spouse can’t agree on all of the terms of a divorce. Without an attorney, the divorce process can be complicated and difficult to navigate. Though the cost of hiring a lawyer can be steep, it can be well worth it when it means that the outcome of the divorce serves the interest of you and any children involved in the divorce.
Even if you’ve been thinking about and planning your divorce for some time now, the process doesn’t officially start in the state of Texas until you file an Original Petition for Divorce with your county’s courthouse. When you fill out this paperwork, you will need to state the reason behind your divorce. If you are going to need to request a hearing for child support or you require a temporary restraining order, you’ll want to communicate this to the court as well at this time.
The judge will sign off on your paperwork once you have filed it with the court. The next step is to serve your spouse with the divorce documents, which is an official process that lets your spouse know that you are filing for divorce.
There are a number of different ways to serve divorce papers to your spouse. It’s important to make sure you are proceeding with this step in the proper way. In any lawsuit, a necessary step is the “service of citation” or “service of process” where the individual that is being sued is formally notified.
When it comes to divorce papers, only individuals that are listed in Texas Rule of Civil Procedure 103 are allowed to serve divorce papers. These people include a sheriff, constable, and other people that are authorized by law or by the court. According to Texas Rule of Civil Procedure 106, these people must try to deliver the documents in person or by certified mail before trying other methods.
If the initial attempts at serving your spouse doesn’t work, you can ask the court to try and serve them in another way. Basically, if your spouse refuses to sign a return receipt for a certified letter or successfully dodges the process server, you will need to file a Motion for Substituted Service in addition to a Rule 106(b) Affidavit from the sheriff, constable, or private process server that tried to serve your spouse.
If the court grants you this order, the server is given permission to serve your spouse in another way, including leaving a copy of the documents with someone over the age of 16 at the service location or through other means. The laws in Texas even allow servers to deliver divorce papers through email and, believe it or not, social media if necessary.
If you don’t know where your spouse is, you will need to pull out all the stops to try and locate them. You’ll want to ask their family members, their friends, and their former employers if they know where they are. You can try and write to them at the last place you knew they were living, and try to find them through:
You will need to swear to the court regarding all of the methods you tried to find your spouse in order to be able to serve them in a different way. If you’ve done everything you can to try and locate them and are unable to, you can then ask the court to let you serve your spouse by publication or posting.
Service by publication is when notice printed in a newspaper that meets requirements outlined in Texas law. Service by posting is when notice is posted at the courthouse.
If there are minor children involved in the divorce, you can’t serve by posting. If you can’t find your spouse and you have minor children, service by publication will have to be your method of serving divorce papers to your husband or wife.
If you or your spouse doesn’t want to be served divorce papers, you can choose to file a waiver of service. This document doesn’t waive one’s right to be involved in the proceedings but instead waives one’s right to a formal notice of the suit. However, returning a signed waiver of service is only a step you can take in an uncontested or agreed divorce.
If an answer is filed by the respondent, regardless of whether or not the divorce is contested, spouses need to exchange initial disclosures at this time. This includes specific information about financial matters such as retirement plans and property.
These disclosures need to be shared within thirty days after the filing of the answer unless there is a written agreement between the spouses to extend the deadline.
Once you have filed for divorce in Texas, your spouse has the right to file an answer once they have been served. An answer, in short, is a legal form that is filed with the court by the Respondent (the person who files for divorce is the Petitioner) in order to protect their right to have a say in the proceedings.
If the Respondent doesn’t file an answer, that doesn’t mean that the divorce can’t move forward. What it means, though, is that a default judgment will be made for the Respondent. They will therefore not have any say in how their property and debts are distributed. It also might mean that they don’t have a say in any issues surrounding children involved in the divorce.
In the case of a contested divorce, the Respondent has the right to file a counter-petition. This gives them the opportunity to communicate to the judge what they would like to happen in the divorce.
There is a deadline for how long the Respondent has to file an answer with the court. It’s important to have a clear sense of all of the deadlines within your divorce proceedings to ensure that things move along as quickly as you’d like them to.
The state of Texas has a waiting period that is required in almost all divorce cases. This means that courts will not grant you a divorce until at least sixty days after the divorce petition has been filed. However, in many cases, it will take more than sixty days to complete divorce proceedings, even in the case of an uncontested divorce.
There are only two exceptions to the waiting period rule, which are:
The reason behind this waiting period is to allow an ample amount of time for the parties involved to decide if they want to go through with the divorce. Someone might file for divorce in the heat of the moment, and the sixty day waiting period intends to let people have time to think things over.
Either spouse can ask the court to issue temporary orders in a Texas divorce. The reasoning behind this is to preserve property and outline other guidelines while the divorce unfolds. A spouse might do this in order to prohibit either spouse from damaging, hiding, mortgaging, or selling assets that belong to one or both parties.
In some cases, a judge might issue temporary orders if they believe that it is necessary to do so.
In cases that involve children, temporary orders might be necessary in order to protect the children’s welfare and safety. These orders might outline guidelines regarding the following:
Other issues that temporary orders can involve include:
If you are afraid that your spouse will harm you or your children before you are able to have a temporary orders hearing, you can ask that an emergency court order be issued known as a temporary restraining order.
If you want to avoid the expense, time, and stress of going to trial, you will want to find an alternative path to resolving the issues between you and your spouse when it comes to the terms of the divorce.
One such process is known as mediation. The mediation process involves you and your spouse separately meeting with an unbiased, trained, third-party mediator that will help the two of you come to an agreement on the contested topics.
If you are able to reach a settlement through mediation, you can avoid all of the disadvantages of the trial phase of a divorce. Not only can reaching a mediated settlement help you save money, but it can mean your divorce can be finalized in a much faster and less messy way.
If mediation or other attempts at reaching an agreement don’t work, your contested divorce will proceed to trial. This is where you work with your divorce lawyer to present evidence in order to argue in favor of the outcome you desire. At the same time, your spouse and their lawyer will do the same.
When you take an uncontested divorce all the way to trial, you are ultimately putting control over the outcome in the hands of the judge. Issues that you couldn’t agree on, such as child support, child custody, or division of assets, will be determined by a judge.
Depending on how complicated your divorce is, the trial period can last a long time. When the court makes its final judgment on the termination of your marriage, it will be outlined by a final divorce decree. Once both parties and the judge sign the final decree of divorce, the marriage is legally dissolved.
There are a lot of different factors that will influence exactly how long it will take to finalize your divorce from the filing of the original petition to the signing of the final decree. When you factor in all of the steps involved, including the waiting period, you should expect a Texas contested divorce to take at least six months.
However, the more difficult it is to resolve the disagreements between the two of you, the longer the process will take. Particularly complicated and messy divorces can drag on for years. It is therefore in the best interest of everyone involved to reach a settlement before the divorce goes to trial.
Getting divorced can be an incredibly difficult experience for anyone, regardless of whether your divorce is agreed upon or contested. There can be a lot of stress involved emotionally and financially. One of the best ways to maintain your strength and carry forward through your divorce is to arm yourself with knowledge of your rights and responsibilities under the law.
For this reason, we’re building an ever-growing library of articles to help residents of Texas learn about how divorce works in the Lone Star State. Whether you’re getting divorced, getting married, or simply planning ahead, be sure to check out TexasDivorceLaws.org for more helpful resources.
No matter the reasoning behind your divorce, the process and aftermath of ending your marriage is likely one of the most difficult things you've ever been through. For some comfort and inspiration, we've compiled a list of divorce quotes to help you find strength during this time. Sometimes, consulting the ideas of other people who have been through something similar can offer some relief and help you remember that the feelings you're experiencing will pass.
Not only are you dealing with the end of a relationship that you expected would last for the rest of your life, but you likely also have to carry on with the responsibilities of daily life at the same time.
It can feel like you're supposed to act completely unaffected by the dissolution of your marriage as you go to work, pick up your kids from school, and go to the grocery store.
It's important, though, to give yourself the space you need to grieve and heal when you're going through a divorce. Let's take a look at some quotations about strength during divorce, some of which might strike more of a chord than others. Feel free to skim the list and see if you connect with any of the quotes in particular, and use them as a jumping-off point for your emotional processing and healing.
You have likely spent countless hours thinking about whether or not your marriage is something that can be saved. Even when you feel certain about the decision to get a divorce, it can feel difficult to stay strong during the process and in its aftermath. These quotations about strength during divorce can help you find the inspiration you need to carry on down the path you know is right for you.
“When people divorce, it's always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse.” – Monica Bellucci
If you are struggling to accept the fact that your marriage is ending, imagining what the future would look like if you stayed together can help you remember why you're going through this in the first place.
“Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” ― KT Witten
Getting divorced isn't the end of your life but rather the end of a chapter in your life's story.
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” – Robert Brault
Forgiveness is certainly a key player in any divorce. Though you might not ever hear the "I'm sorry" you're waiting for, that doesn't mean you can't learn to forgive and move on.
“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.” – Shannon L. Adler
It's natural to want your spouse to understand the pain that they've caused you. At the end of the day, though, you're keeping yourself from moving on by burning energy and dreaming of revenge.
“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” – Jennifer Weiner
While divorce can seem like a catastrophe, the alternative could end up being much worse.
“Sometimes you’re going to have to let one person go a thousand different times, a thousand different ways, and there’s nothing pathetic or abnormal about that. You are human.” ― Heidi Priebe
It's easy to feel like you're emotions during a divorce are more extreme than the average person's, particularly because our culture seems to value hiding our true feelings. Healing from a divorce is hard work, though, and you should never be too hard on yourself for the emotional processing you have to do in order to move on.
On top of the emotional stress of getting divorced, it can also be incredibly financially taxing. If you live in the state of Texas, this article outlines what you should expect when it comes to the cost of divorce.
Healing and moving on after a divorce is likely one of the most difficult things you will ever go through. Regardless of how amicable the divorce process was, there is no escaping the pain that accompanies the end of a marriage.
For a period of time, you might feel deeply stressed and upset by the fact that the future you thought was ahead of you will no longer arrive. It can be hard to picture what your life will look like after divorce. These quotes can help you mull over what it would mean to move on, and see the positive potential that is waiting for you up ahead.
“You cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” ― Michael McMillan
It is easy to dwell on the past when you are getting divorced. You reflect on conversations that you and your spouse had (or maybe ones you didn't have) and wonder if you wouldn't be getting divorced if you had said or done something different.
It's entirely natural to reflect on your marriage and wonder where things went wrong. However, at a certain point, focusing on the past is taking away from your ability to utilize the present to create your future.
“The divorce has lasted way longer than the marriage, but finally it’s over. Enough about that. The point is that for a long time, the fact that I was divorced was the most important thing about me. And now it’s not.” ― Nora Ephron
You might find that getting divorced and being divorced becomes a part of your sense of identity for a while. This is a temporary phase, however, and it doesn't need to be permanent. The more you can look forward to a life where you aren't defined by your divorce, the sooner you can get there.
“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” ― Nora Ephron
This quote was spoken as a part of a commencement speech at a women's college, so it's understandably geared towards a female perspective. However, you can easily substitute "hero" for "heroine" and it is just as applicable to a man who is going through a divorce.
It's easy to feel like a victim in a divorce, particularly if you honestly feel that you can't claim any fault in the breakup. Even if you are in many ways the victim, seeing yourself as such won't be very useful in the process of moving on. You must understand yourself as the protagonist in your story, and a heroic one, at that.
“Hold on to the thought that no emotion lasts forever, no matter how wonderful or how terrible the emotion may be. The tears may last a little longer than you would like, but it will get better. I promise.” ― Osayi Osar-Emokpae
When we are in pain, it can feel like the experience will be infinite. It always does pass, though, and it's important to remember this at the moment. Even though it might seem impossible right now, time will help you heal.
“A breakup is a state of mind that needs encouragement and needs hopeful, forward thinking.” – Lucy Dacus
If you're only looking back during and after a divorce, things can start feeling pretty dire. If you start turning your attention towards the future, though, you might find that you start to sing a different tune. Consider the dreams that you have that are still unfulfilled, and think about what it would mean to make them a reality.
“When your heart is broken you plant seeds in the cracks and wait for rain.” ― Andrea Gibson
There is something so strange, morbid, and beautiful about the fact that the hardest of times often offer the potential for new growth, learning, and potential. You will learn things about yourself in the process of divorce that you may never have discovered if you had remained in your marriage.
This quote is reminiscent of this Rumi quote: "The wound is the place where light enters you." As time passes, you might find that your divorce was essential for a new period of expansion, development, and appreciation for life.
“Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you.” – Rupi Kaur
There will be moments when you want to turn to your spouse for comfort during the process of divorce. Maybe you are even second-guessing the whole thing. A harsh reality of the world, though, is that you will have to find the resources you need to heal within yourself and not in your ex-spouse. While you can certainly lean on close friends and family, at the end of the day, you have what you need inside yourself to fully heal from this chapter of life.
“Don’t spend too much time beating on a wall, hoping it will transform into a door.” – Dr. Laura Schlessinger
In many marriages, there is a moment when one spouse realizes that they've been expecting the other to change for all of these years. Even when divorce is incredibly painful, it can be a huge step to realize that what you expected won't come to pass, the future you anticipated isn't lying ahead of you, and it's time to walk away and create a better life for yourself.
“You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot keep spring from coming.” – Pablo Neruda.
The end of a marriage can masquerade as the end of your life. It's really not the case, though. We all have seasons to life, and your divorce simply marks the end of one and the beginning of another. When you recognize this, you open yourself up to the potential of the future in a way that can create possibilities you never thought imaginable.
One of the reasons that divorce can be so difficult is that it sometimes drags on for quite some time, making it difficult for you to move on. If you're getting divorced in Texas, check out this guide to learn how long you should expect your divorce to take.
It's essential that you give yourself time to grieve during the process of divorce and afterward. In our culture, we have a tendency to want to hide our pain and put on a brave face for the world. However, if you don't let yourself deliberately grieve, you'll likely find that the process of getting over the divorce is more painful and drawn out than if you give yourself the space you need to cry and really feel your emotions.
As it has been said, the only avoidable pain is the pain we create, trying to avoid feeling pain. It is completely normal to feel sad and devastated after a divorce. Making time for yourself to experience grief will help you accept the end of one chapter of your life so that you can begin another.
“No one can tell you what to expect or can offer a guide to grief. Because every relationship is so unique, no two people grieve the same way. And you have no idea how you are going to grieve till you are grieving.” – Alysia Reiner
There is so much truth in this quote. Even when you know that a marriage is coming to an end, you can never predict exactly what it will feel like once you enter the process of divorce. No matter how much you prepare yourself or read about the experiences of other people, this is one of those things you can't really anticipate until it arrives.
While that might sound grim, understanding that ahead of time can help you realize that you are going through an experience that is unique to you, even though countless others have been through something similar. It can help you connect with yourself and accept that you will experience pain along the way, which can, in turn, help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
“There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.” – Aeschylus
One of the hardest things about divorce is that rarely is a marriage 100% bad.
Chances are, you have spent many wonderful times with your spouse, even if they are acting conniving and malicious during the process of divorce.
Reflecting on these times can feel so painful, and, according to Aeschylus, is the greatest type of pain. You don't have to deny the fact that you loved your spouse and that you had happy times together, but it's also important to remember why ending the relationship is the right choice for you.
“But thinking never took away tears. Only time did.”― Allan Folsom
If you find yourself in the depths of despair during or after a divorce, it's important to remember that time heals all wounds. You can drive yourself crazy by overthinking everything and second-guessing decisions you've made in the past. If you feel like the pain you're feeling won't ever end, try and remember that this too shall pass.
“Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future.” – Swami Sivananda
You likely learned many lessons during your marriage and the process of divorce. Rather than beating yourself up about things you could have done differently or even getting into this relationship in the first place, try and see the whole experience as an opportunity to learn valuable lessons about who you want to be, who you want to spend your time with, and what you want your life to be like.
“Tears are the silent language of grief.” – Voltaire
Have you let yourself cry about the end of your marriage? Not just a few tears rolling down your cheeks but a full-on, intense sobbing? You'll find that allowing yourself to fully express your grief can actually leave you with a lightness and a feeling of peace afterward that can be essential to your healing and growth.
Laughter really can be the best medicine sometimes. Though you might not feel like making jokes about your divorce when it's new, over time, you'll find the space to find healing through laughter. Considering that explaining jokes typically take the magic out of them, we'll let these quotes speak for themselves.
“Divorce is probably of nearly the same date as marriage. I believe, however, that marriage is some weeks the more ancient.” ― Voltaire
“I can’t get divorced because I’m a Catholic. Catholics don’t get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.” -Lenny Clarke
“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” – Groucho Marx
“Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.” -Joan Rivers
“A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, any more than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.” – Jean Kerr
“Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.” – Mary Kay Blakeley
“Take this marriage thing seriously – it has to last all the way to the divorce.” -Roseanne Barr
“Divorces are made in heaven.” – Oscar Wilde
“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” – Shinichi Suzuki
“Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.” – Jean Kerr
“Love is a voyage of discovery, marriage the goal– and divorce the relief expedition.” – Helen Rowland
When you're getting divorced, it's natural to feel like an emotional wreck. It's important, though, to be able to zoom out and see the situation from a broader perspective. The way you feel now won't last forever, and if you allow yourself the time and space to heal in the ways you need to, you can begin the next chapter of your life.
While you're still dealing with the wreckage of a divorce, it's important to find positive aspects of your life that you can focus on. Build a picture of your future that you can work towards, and take it one day at a time. Soon enough, you'll be able to reflect on just how much you were able to learn and grow from the whole endeavor.
Are you getting divorced in Texas? If so, be sure to consult the library of resources at TexasDivorceLaws.org.
Getting divorced isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time, but divorcing a narcissist is particularly unpleasant. While everyone displays some narcissistic tendencies from time to time, being married to and getting divorced from a narcissist is a whole other ball game.
Unfortunately, this is not a circumstance where you can expect to have a low-stress, uncontested divorce. If your spouse really is a narcissist, they will likely use all kinds of nasty tactics to make the process as difficult as possible and to ensure that they get their way.
One of the best ways to deal with this type of situation is to know what to expect ahead of time and to prepare before you file for divorce.
Let’s take a look at what you need to know about how to divorce a narc.
People that have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be difficult if not downright impossible to have a relationship with. This mental health condition can cause individuals to rely on other people for admiration, self-esteem, and praise in a way
that drives them to only form superficial relationships for their own personal benefit.
Narcissists act in ways that harm other people and their relationships. It isn’t uncommon for them to have an inflated view of themselves as being unique and superior to other people.
Before we get too deep into things here, it’s worth noting that narcissism can be a personality trait and everyone is guilty of displaying narcissistic tendencies from time to time. However, a full-blown, clinically diagnosable narcissist will be so self-involved that they fundamentally don’t understand the way that their behavior impacts other people.
Some of the primary personality traits associated with NPD are:
You might wonder to yourself: why would someone ever need to divorce a narcissist? How could someone in their right mind get into a relationship with a person like this in the first place?
Unfortunately, narcissists can also be incredibly charming. They are often highly skilled at winning the affection of others and the art of manipulation. This means that it’s sadly all too common for people to get into a relationship with a narcissistic person without being aware of the reality of their personality disorder.
In the DSM-5, there’s only one official diagnosis for NPD. However, there are different theories about how to further categorize the different types of narcissism as there can be quite a bit of variety in the personality traits of people with NPD. Some experts make a distinction between adaptive and maladaptive narcissism in addition to breaking down NPD into subcategories.
An overt narcissist is the type of NPD that most people think of when they hear the term ‘narcissist.’ These people are completely and excessively preoccupied with the way that other people see them. It’s common for them to be hyper-focused on wealth, flattery, status, and power and they are often both deeply sensitive to criticism and high-achieving.
Also referred to as vulnerable narcissism or closet narcissism, this is a harder form of NPD to spot. While these people also crave admiration and have an inflated sense of self-importance like overt narcissism, their negative behaviors might be much more subtle and passive.
These people might engage in emotional neglect, blaming, manipulation, and shaming rather than demanding respect or constantly showing off. It isn’t uncommon for covert narcissists to view themselves as a victim in life.
This type of narcissist is largely concerned with winning. Often willing to exploit others to get ahead, they are defined by a deep sense of competitiveness, rivalry, and arrogance. They also might try to appear dominant or gain the upper hand by starting arguments or putting other people down.
Another less-apparent form of narcissism is communal narcissism. In these cases, individuals might actually come off as completely selfless to the point of being a martyr. However, they are actually motivated by the admiration and praise they receive from their “selflessness,” rather than a genuine drive to help other people.
These people see themselves as more caring, empathetic, or selfless than other people. Frequently running around displaying their moral outrage, it’s not uncommon to find these characters at the forefront of social causes.
Often considered one of the most potentially abusive and severe forms of narcissistic personality disorder, malignant narcissists have many of the classic traits of narcissism in addition to some traits that are associated with antisocial personality disorder. These include:
In some instances, people with malignant narcissism can have a penchant for sadism.
If you found yourself looking up “how to divorce a narc,” you likely already suspect that your spouse has narcissistic traits. Regardless, it’s important to understand that not all people with this disorder will look or act the same way. While it’s important to not run around diagnosing everyone you know with a serious mental disorder (again, we all display some of the traits of narcissism from time to time,) it’s also worth learning about how varied the outcomes can be for different people with NPD.
For example, a person with NPD might be a high-achieving, well-dressed, and charming person. They might work hard to curate a specific image of themselves that they present to others, and other people might largely see the individual in the way that they want to be seen.
On the other hand, another person with NPD might set low expectations for themselves and be an underachiever because they strongly believe that they are entitled to what they want in life.
The former case might be referred to by some experts as an “adaptive narcissist.” These people can actually be assisted by their narcissism in their pursuit of success in their education, their career, or their finances.
The latter example, on the other hand, is an example of “maladaptive narcissism.” With traits like condescension, exploitativeness, and aggression, these individuals are affected negatively by their narcissistic traits as they neither serve themselves or the people around them.
Now that we’ve explored the wide variety of ways that narcissism can show its ugly head in a person with this particular personality disorder, we can talk about what you should expect when you begin the process of divorcing a narcissist.
At every step along the way, you can expect that your spouse will fight. In general, a narcissist believes that they never make mistakes and they never fail. They will likely place all of the blame on your shoulders and use just about any resource they have at their disposal to protect their ego.
This means that a narcissist might use your family, your friends, and your children against you. It also means that they will be brutal in the way they fight to divide property and assets.
You should not expect that your narcissistic spouse will magically act differently in the divorce process than they did as a part of the marriage. Even if they are highly skilled in the art of manipulation and have convinced you that this process will be smooth and fast, you should be highly skeptical of this claim. If your spouse is truly narcissistic and it seems like they are being oddly amicable during the process, it is likely for the purposes of manipulating you into giving them what they want.
In short, mediation is likely not a reasonable option if you are getting divorced from a narcissist. People with diagnosable NPD or that exist somewhere on the spectrum won’t be able to see things from any perspective other than their own. They won’t believe that they could have had any fault in the dissolution of the marriage, and they will do everything in their power to protect their ego. Compromises are often viewed as failure in the eyes of a narcissist.
For this reason, mediation will likely be a dead end and might just end up providing more opportunities for you to be at the receiving end of their harmful behavior.
In some cases, people can get divorced amicably and go through the process together. When you’re dealing with a spouse that is a narcissist, however, you’ll need to go about things differently.
First and foremost, you don’t want to alert your spouse that you plan on getting divorced until you have hired lawyers and gotten your ducks in a row. Before your formally file for divorce, there are a number of issues you’ll have to deal with including documenting your financial records.
If you let your spouse know that you are planning on leaving them, it gives them the opportunity to hide assets or otherwise strategize to make the divorce process as difficult as possible.
Of course, it’s worth noting that everyone’s circumstance is different, and that in this type of situation it’s highly advisable to seek the counsel of an experienced attorney. They will be able to direct you on the best course of action and when the appropriate time is to tell your spouse that you are filing for divorce.
If your spouse has a history of being deceitful, you might want to make copies or take photographs of important financial documents and records of assets. This way, if the assets mysteriously go missing before the divorce trial, you have prove that they belonged to your marital property not too long ago.
Some of the things you might want to document include:
If you’re getting divorced in Texas, you can find a guide to the legal forms you’ll need in this article. By understanding what documents you’ll need as a part of your divorce, you can get all of your ducks in a row before alerting your spouse to the fact that you’re planning on filing for divorce.
If you are going to be divorcing a narcissist, you can expect that they will do everything they can to “win” in the divorce proceeding. They might try to cut you off from money when they learn that you are pursuing a divorce and “smoke you out” or try a number of other nasty divorce tactics. In general, it’s a good idea to build an emergency fund over time as you prepare for divorce to ensure that your financial needs are met even if things get dicey for a little while.
In some instances, hiring a lawyer might not be necessary for a divorce. If you’re getting divorced from a full-blown narcissist, though, you’ll want to get the best lawyer you can. If possible, try to find an attorney who has experience in this type of divorce case where one party has NPD.
If your spouse is a narcissist, you shouldn’t take their word for it if they promise that they’re interested in a fair outcome after the divorce. You’ve likely heard many promises through your marriage that were never upheld, so don’t get tricked into thinking that things will be different this time.
Are you wondering what it entails to get divorced without a lawyer in Texas? If so, check out this article.
Getting divorced from a narcissist and starting a new life is an incredibly difficult thing to go through, both materially and emotionally. For this reason, don’t hesitate to go out of your way to find a good therapist, spiritual advisor, or another professional that you feel comfortable talking to. It can be easy to blame yourself for having gotten into a relationship with someone that is so selfish and destructive in the first place, and having someone to help you work through these emotions can help you go through the emotional healing you need.
Starting to date before a divorce is final can complicate things sometimes anyway, but it can be a particularly bad idea when you’re getting divorced from a narcissist. If they find out that you’re seeing someone else, they could take things to the next level in terms of trying to make the divorce process (not to mention your life) a living nightmare.
A common tactic used by narcissists is known as gaslighting. When a person gaslights you, they will try and wear you down through a number of different methods, including:
It’s possible that a narcissistic spouse will try and gaslight you during a divorce. They might not just lie to you, but also judges, lawyers, your children, mediators, and child custody evaluators.
If agreements aren’t in writing, you shouldn’t expect that a narcissist will uphold them. They might try to revoke or deny oral agreements that you’ve made. For this reason, it’s essential to get everything in writing when it comes to any type of divorce-related communication.
You should expect that your spouse will use these types of behaviors at just about ever turn in your divorce. This can help to reduce the effect of feeling confused or surprised every time they claim that a phone call never happened even though you know it did.
As a part of having been married to a narcissist, you will need to begin the process of rebuilding healthy boundaries in your life. This will take time and deliberate work. It won’t always be easy, but it will significantly improve your life.
However, it’s not usually worth it to try and communicate your new boundaries or advertise them to your spouse. You’re ultimately just giving them more valuable information about where your weak points are and you can expect that a severe narcissist will use this as fuel in their next attack.
If you have children, one of your primary goals during the divorce process should be to protect them. A narcissistic spouse will gladly use children as a part of their divorce strategy to get what they want. They might even try and pit your children against you in order to hurt you or win custody.
Narcissists are often experts at manipulation and a lot of times are quite charming. This means that children can frequently be fooled by them, not to mention adults. It’s important to understand that one of the common tactics that narcissists use as a part of divorce is parental alienation. By understanding the possibility of this occurring, you can prepare yourself and come up with a plan.
It is ideal to only communicate with your spouse in writing when you are getting divorced from a narcissist. If it isn’t possible to do this, keep a log of every encounter you have and every telephone call. In the log, you’ll want to include the date, time, subject, and other people who were present at the time.
Here are some of the other things you’ll want to document:
Additionally, it’s important that you don’t let yourself get baited into fights with your spouse. Though it can be difficult and feel completely unnatural, it’s best to stay calm when you’re interacting with them during the divorce process.
If you’re getting divorced from a narcissist, you have our deepest sympathy. While it might not be an easy road, you are likely doing what is best for you and for your children. One of the best things you can do when you are facing a difficult divorce is find experienced and knowledgeable legal counsel that can help you navigate the process.
At the same time, it’s a good idea to learn as much as you can about the family laws in your state. This can help you understand what your rights and responsibilities are under the law, which can resolve any concerns or worries you have about the ability of your narcissistic spouse to leave you and your children out in the cold.
If you’re getting divorced in Texas, we have a growing library of resources here to assist you in your endeavors. Be sure to check out TexasDivorceLaws.org for tons of articles to answer all of your questions about divorce in the Lone Star State.
When you are getting divorced in Texas, there are a number of different avenues you can take. While you can go through the full litigation process, a lot of divorcing couples try to avoid this outcome if possible because it can be costly, stressful, and lengthy. For this reason, divorce mediation in Texas can be an appealing alternative.
Though a mediated divorce will be more expensive than a DIY, agreed-from-the-get-go divorce, it can be a good middle-ground for couples that have some issues they simply can’t agree on.
Are you wondering how a mediated divorce works, exactly?
Let’s dive in and take a look at what you need to know about Texas divorce mediation.
If you and your spouse have some terms to work out in regards to your divorce, you might choose to undergo mediation rather than a divorce trial. In many instances, mediation can be less expensive, less stressful, and faster than a trial in court.
During divorce mediation, you and your spouse meet with a neutral third party that specializes in mediating the process of divorce. One of the benefits of going this route is that you and your spouse are able to maintain control and power over the outcomes of your divorce, rather than having a judge determine the final terms.
Even when a relationship disintegrated due to a lack of communication, mediation can be an opportunity to build communication skills. If you and your spouse have children, mediation can help set a positive tone for communication going forward as you manage parenting your kids as a divorced couple.
When children are involved in your divorce, you’ll want to find a mediator that is trained to deal with issues like child custody, child support, and visitation.
A good mediator will have extensive knowledge of the divorce laws in your state and be experienced in conflict resolution. They will also be willing to work with both of you to eliminate the drama that can go hand-in-hand with divorce and help facilitate productive and meaningful dialogue.
It’s important to note that mediators won’t make decisions for you. They aren’t a judge but instead are a third-party that can help keep the conversation on track and assist the two of you in reaching terms that you both find acceptable.
At any point before the divorce process is final, mediation is an option in the state of Texas. In some cases, the judge may order you and your spouse to undergo mediation before you’ll be allowed to have a final hearing in your divorce.
Getting a divorce without going to trial is definitely the cheapest, least time-consuming, and least-stressful option on the table. In some cases, couples might be able to agree upon all of the terms of their divorce without any type of outside help. In these instances, they can pursue an “agreed divorce” (sometimes referred to as an uncontested divorce.)
If the two of you simply can’t reach an agreement, though, mediation might be the right choice. If you are able to come to a settlement through the mediation process, it means that you can still pursue an agreed divorce. It’s also possible to go this route without hiring a lawyer, though, depending on your situation, it might still be advisable to do so.
Going through a contested divorce can be drawn-out, dramatic, expensive, and stressful. It can also increase the impact of the divorce on children that are involved in the divorce process. Even if the relationship you have with your spouse is on very thin ice when you decide to pursue a divorce, it is really in the best interest of all parties involved to try and avoid the outcome of a divorce trial in court.
If one of you has filed for divorce before you have agreed on all of the issues at hand, you can still choose to use divorce mediation to help the two of your reach a settlement. As mentioned above, it also isn’t uncommon for judges to order divorcing couples to go through mediation before going to trial. In some counties, judges might always order that spouses go to mediation before either the temporary or final hearing of a divorce.
If spouses or unable to agree on a mediator, a judge might appoint a particular mediator to the couple.
While judges have the right to order divorces or child custody cases to mediation under Texas law, the policies and practices will vary between Texas counties in terms of court-ordered mediation.
Since the divorce laws vary depending on the state you live in, it’s worth understanding the mediation process in your home state. Let’s take a look at the typical sequence of events in a Texas-mediated divorce.
Once you and your spouse have decided that mediation is the right step for you (or if a judge has ordered the two of you to undergo mediation), it’s time to hire a divorce mediator.
You’ll want to look for a number of qualities in a divorce mediator to help ensure that you are setting yourself up for the best possible outcome:
It’s worth shopping around for the right mediator as who you choose can have a significant impact on how productive your sessions are. You can ask for personal recommendations from people you know and trust that have gone through a divorce and ask marriage counselors or therapists you have worked with for referrals. You can also ask your local courthouse for a list of local mediators or look online at mediators in your area.
Once you have selected a mediator that both you and your spouse feel comfortable working with, the next step is to start attending the sessions.
It is common for you and your spouse to meet separately with the mediator, but it’s also possible for the two of you to meet with the mediator at the same time in the same place. If you or your spouse has hired a lawyer, they can also attend the sessions and give you advice during mediation.
In some instances, mediation might only take one session. If there are a number of issues to work out, though, or a fundamental disagreement that is difficult to overcome, mediation can also run for multiple sessions.
There aren’t any specific laws in Texas that outline how divorce mediation should occur except for some requirements about agreements that stem from mediation. In general, most mediations will go through the stages of:
When the process is complete, the mediator might help prepare a written agreement that outlines the decisions that were reached during negotiations.
When you and your spouse have reached a settlement agreement, written it out, and signed it, it is legally binding as soon as you both put your signatures on paper. If you have attorneys, they will also sign these documents if they are present at the time of your signatures. However, the signatures only make the settlement legally binding if the agreement states that it is “not subject to revocation” in a prominent way (meaning it is underlined, capitalized, or boldfaced.)
This means that neither of you are able to change your minds after you have signed. You are therefore bound to follow the provisions outlined in the agreement even before your final divorce decree is granted. In the state of Texas, this is true regardless of whether you signed the agreement in court-ordered or voluntary mediation sessions.
You aren’t required to come to an agreement during mediation, even if divorce mediation was ordered by a judge. A mediator is under no circumstances allowed to force you to come to a settlement.
In the case of unsuccessful mediation, your case will then move on to the trial phase. That is, unless you are able to settle the issues that remained unresolved at a later time prior to going to court.
If you and your spouse have reached a settlement agreement and signed the document, it’s time to file your final divorce paperwork with the court. These documents will include:
You will file your final divorce paperwork with the District Clerk’s Office at the local courthouse in your county. If you have an attorney, they can do this for you. Some mediators also offer services that include helping to file divorce paperwork with the courts.
Under Texas law, you are entitled to a final divorce decree that follows your mediated settlement terms when it meets the requirements of the law. These requirements are:
You are entitled to a final divorce decree that is in agreeance with your settlement regardless of whether you underwent mediation before or after filing for divorce. There are only two exceptions to this rule. A judge can refuse to enter a divorce decree based on the content of a mediated settlement agreement if they find that the settlement resulted from fraud, coercion, or duress or if it was illegal. They can also do so if the settlement agreement is not in the best interest of an involved child and one of the following two statements are true:
Even if a judge thinks that a settlement is not in a child’s best interest or is unfair, they cannot refuse to enter the divorce decree based on the settlement agreement unless one of those two statements is true.
The rules regarding mediated settlements don’t apply to agreements that were reached outside of divorce mediation, whether a settlement was reached through your lawyers or on your own.
For a complete guide to the Texas divorce forms you’ll need when you file for divorce, take a look at this article.
The easiest, least expensive, and least stressful way to get divorced in Texas is to file for an agreed divorce. In reality, that simply isn’t always possible right from the get-go. You and your spouse might have certain issues upon which you fundamentally disagree, and mediation can help you reach a settlement that you’re both comfortable with.
Some of the advantages of mediation include:
Before you hire a mediator, though, you’ll also want to know some of the drawbacks of divorce mediation. These include:
Mediation can be a reasonable middle ground for a lot of couples that are going through a divorce. Your experience with mediation will likely have a lot to do with the specific mediator you hire and the circumstances of your marriage and divorce. In some instances, such as a particularly contentious divorce where communication is no longer possible, mediation might be a step that only makes divorce more drawn-out and more expensive.
In case you were curious, the process for dissolving a common law marriage in Texas is basically the same as ending a formal marriage. You can learn more about Texas common law marriage laws in this guide.
There are a number of factors that will impact how much divorce mediation in Texas will cost. These include:
A typical total bill for divorce mediation in Texas ranges from $3,000 to $8,000. While this might sound steep, it’s worth comparing it to the cost of divorce in Texas. If you go to trial as a part of your divorce, you will likely pay quite a bit more than if you go through the process of divorce mediation.
In some Texas counties, there are free or low-cost mediation services provided by Dispute Resolutions Centers. However, they aren’t available in all counties and they usually require that you meet specific financial requirements. For example, couples only qualify for these services in Harris County if you make less than $80,000 a year combined and don’t own significant assets.
Even when you and your spouse have a lot of unresolved issues and hard feelings, divorce mediation can work for you. However, there are some instances where mediation really doesn’t make sense. Some examples include:
In these instances, mediation might not be in your best interest or it might simply be safe to assume that it will be wasted time and energy. However, mediation really can help people outside of these types of circumstances come to an agreement even when they feel like they are standing on polar opposite sides on an issue.
Divorce mediation and collaborative divorce share some of the same benefits, but they are not synonymous terms. While divorce mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution, collaborative divorce is a formalized process under Texas law. This is a non-adversarial process where parties work to resolve their disputes without the involvement of a judge.
Parties must sign a collaborative family law participation agreement in order to engage in a collaborative family law process. They also both must have an attorney. This process can involve mediation in addition to other non-adversarial processes. In general, a collaborative divorce is often less expensive than divorce litigation but more expensive than mediation.
If you’re going through the process of divorce in Texas, understanding the laws of the state can make the whole process a lot smoother and a lot less stressful. Oftentimes, the things that stress us out the most are the things we don’t understand. That’s why we strive to provide no-nonsense, easy-to-digest information about the family laws in the Lone Star State.
Whether you’re already going through the divorce process or you’re just beginning to look into what it would entail, our growing library of articles can serve as beneficial resources no matter where you are in the Texas divorce process.
Americans regularly report that divorce is one of the most stressful life events they’ve ever been through. Not only is it emotionally taxing and expensive, but the process of navigating the legal system can be downright overwhelming. Understanding the Texas divorce forms you will be required to file can help you get a sense of what will be involved in the process and whether or not you should seek the help of a lawyer.
While filing for an uncontested, no-fault divorce is by far the simplest route to take, that obviously isn’t always possible. In these instances, you might be able to file for a DIY divorce and avoid the costs of hiring a lawyer.
Either way, though, getting a sense of the legal forms you’ll need to file for divorce can take away some of the mystery from the process. It can also help you grasp exactly what will be required of you whether you are the Petitioner or the Respondent.
Let’s take a look at the legal forms you’ll need to fill out and file in order to obtain a divorce in Texas.
The forms that you need in order to get divorced in Texas will depend on a number of factors. If you hire a lawyer to represent you in your divorce, they will be able to inform you of the specific forms that will be required in order for you to dissolve your marriage legally.
However, if you are getting divorced without a lawyer, you will need to determine which divorce forms you’ll need in order to end the marriage. Of course, even if you are working with an attorney, it’s not a bad idea to understand the different legal documents that are involved in the Texas divorce process.
Some of the factors that will determine which forms you will need include whether the divorce is contested or uncontested and whether or not there are children involved in the marriage. It is generally advised that you seek the help of a lawyer when getting divorced unless you are getting an uncontested divorce and there are no children involved in the marriage. If either you or your spouse have significant assets or debts, it’s also typically a good idea to work with an attorney.
The Original Petition for Divorce is the form that initiates the divorce process. The spouse that fills out the form is known as the Petitioner, while the spouse that is served with divorce papers is known as the Respondent. Which form of this document you need to fill out will depend on whether or not you and your spouse have minor children.
This is a document that gives basic information about your case to the court clerk. It is used for the purposes of statistical reporting.
It is required under Texas law that the Respondent receives a copy of the Original Petition for Divorce. However, the Respondent can also choose to waive their right to being officially served by signing a Waiver of Citation.
The Final Decree of Divorce is the court’s final order in the case of your divorce. The judge will sign this document and grant your divorce. It will also state any court orders regarding alimony, property and debt division, child support, and child custody and visitation.
If you are getting an uncontested divorce, your Settlement Agreement will also be approved by this document. It’s worth noting that the terms used in the Final Divorce Decree for child custody is referred to as “conservatorship” while visitation is described as “possession and access.”
If your mailing address or your spouse’s mailing address changes, you can fill out this form.
If the Respondent’s location is unknown, you can fill out this form to let the court know the last known address of your spouse.
Low-income parties can choose to fill out this form in order to request that their divorce filing fees are waived. Whether or not you qualify for a waiver of fees is up to the court.
This is a form that answers whether or not the Respondent is a member of the military.
The Respondent’s Original Answer is filled out and filed by the Respondent in order to reply to the Original Petition for Divorce. They can choose to agree with the requests in the Petition, add an additional request, or disagree with one or more requests in the Original Petition for Divorce.
The other option is filing the Waiver of Service form. However, if the Respondent doesn’t file either of these forms, the case can continue to move forward as a default divorce.
Are you wondering what tactics some people use to sabotage their partner during a divorce? Check out these sneaky tricks to watch out for.
If you and your spouse don’t have minor children together (meaning under the age of 18,) you will have a specific set of forms to fill out. It is generally less complicated to get divorced when you don’t have children.
There is also a distinction between which forms you use depending on whether the divorce is agreed or default.
If you and your spouse agree on all of the divorce terms and are willing to sign the necessary court forms, in addition to not having children together, the starting forms you might need to fill out are:
You will want to make two copies of the Original Petition for Divorce. If you are asking the court to waive the court fees, you will also want to make a copy of the Statement of Inability to Afford Payment of Court Costs.
Other forms you will need as a part of this process are:
If you and your spouse don’t have minor children but it’s a default divorce (meaning you don’t believe your spouse will participate in the divorce process) then you’ll need to follow a similar process as listed above. However, there will be several additional steps to take if you can finish your divorce by default. These might include the Certificate of Last Known Mailing Address and Military Status Declaration.
If you are getting an uncontested divorce with minor children, you will need to fill out the Original Petition for Divorce (Set B) as well as additional forms if they are required for your case. These might include:
If your child has ever received Medicaid or TANF, you will need to send a file-stamped copy of your Original Petition for Divorce to the Attorney General’s Office Child Support Division.
You will also need either a Waiver of Service Only (Set B) or a Respondent’s Original Answer (Set B) for your spouse to fill out.
As of January 1, 2021, you will both also be required to complete the Required Initial Disclosures in Divorces, Annulments, and Suits to Declare Marriage Void form.
Finally, you will also need to fill out the Final Decree of Divorce (Set B). There are some other forms that might be required depending on your circumstances, such as the Income Withholding Order for Support form. You will also need to file the completed Information on Suit Affecting the Family Relationship (often referred to as the “Austin” form) as well as the Record of Support Order after you file your Final Decree of Divorce. Your divorce is not finalized when the judge signs your Final Decree of Divorce, but rather when you turn the document (and any other orders signed by the judge) to the court.
What forms do you need to fill out if you’ve been served with divorce papers?
If you have been officially served with both an Original Petition for Divorce and a Citation, you will need to file your answer within a certain time frame. In order to figure out the deadline, you’ll need to look at a calendar and start counting out twenty days from the day you were served. In this calculation, you will want to include both weekends and holidays.
Once you have counted out 20 days, identify the next Monday on the calendar and that will be your deadline. You are required to file your answer on or before this date at 10 am with the court. If twenty days after the day you were served is a Monday, your deadline will be the following Monday.
What if the court is closed when your response is due? Then your due date will be the next day that the courts are open.
If you choose to not respond to having been served with divorce documents, your spouse has the ability to complete the divorce without you being sent any more notice. This is known as a default divorce.
However, if your spouse has not yet finished the divorce but you didn’t make the deadline, you might be able to file your answer late. If they have finished the divorce, however, you will no longer be able to file your answer.
In order to file an answer, you will need to fill out the Respondent’s Original Answer. You will need Set A or Set D if you do not have minor children, Set B if you do have minor children, and Set C if you do have minor children but there is already a custody and support final court order in place. You can file this document in person at the district clerk’s office or file it online with E-File Texas.
As of January 1, 2021, parties in a family law case are also required to exchange certain information and documents within 30 days after the answer has been filed. This is known as the Required Initial Disclosures in Dissolution of Marriage.
You are not required to have a lawyer when you get a divorce in Texas. However, as you’ve likely gleaned from the many forms and scenarios listed above, divorce can get pretty complicated. It can be tempting to save money by avoiding the costs of legal help, but you want to make sure you don’t do so at the expense of your rights and interests.
In general, it is typically only advised to file as a Pro Se litigant in the state of Texas if you are filing an uncontested, no-fault divorce. If you’re interested in pursuing a divorce without a lawyer, check out this article to learn more.
If you are married by common law in Texas, the process of ending the marriage will be basically the same as if you were formally married. In the eyes of Texas State law, common law marriage and formal marriage are equally valid forms of marriage.
Getting a divorce when you are common law married, however, requires that you prove that a common law marriage legitimately existed. If you have filled out a Declaration of Informal Marriage, this will serve as valid proof of marriage. If you haven’t, however, you will need to prove to the court that a marriage existed in order to obtain a divorce.
To learn more about the ins and outs of common law marriage in Texas, take a look at this guide.
When you get a divorce in Texas, you are dissolving a marriage that the state considers valid. An annulment, on the other hand, is when you end a marriage that never actually should have been valid in the first place. You might be able to get an annulment in Texas if your marriage was invalid from the start.
There are a handful of legal grounds that will grant you the right to an annulment in Texas. You will need to be able to show one of the following in order to prove that your marriage was never valid:
There are also some other requirements for a number of these grounds for annulment.
For example, if one spouse is actually married to another person when a couple gets married, the initial marriage can be dissolved and the new spouses can continue to live together in order to allow them to have a valid marriage. However, once this occurs, you are no longer legally allowed to annul the marriage and will instead have to file for divorce if you want to dissolve the relationship legally.
Additionally, one of the spouses must be the one to file for the annulment unless one of the spouses is under the legal age to marry. In these instances, a parent or a guardian can file for the annulment on behalf of the underage spouse. In the state of Texas, the legal age to get married is 18. With a parent’s consent or a court order, individuals can be married at the age of 16.
If you are interested in requesting an annulment in Texas, you will need to file a form known as “A Suit to Declare Void the Marriage of [Petitioner] and [Respondent].” When you are the one that is asking for an annulment, you will put your name as the “petitioner” and the name of your spouse as the “respondent.”
This document will need to be filed in the district court in the county that you live in or that your spouse lives in. In order to file for an annulment in the Lone Star State, either you or your spouse will need to have lived in the county where you filed for at least ninety days and that state of Texas for at least six months.
On the forms, you are going to need to list both you and your spouse's full names as well as which of you has been a resident of the state and county for the required amount of time. You will also need to record the date that you and your spouse stopped cohabiting the same space as well as the day you got married. If there are any children as a part of the marriage and the court will be deciding the terms of child support, visitation, and custody, this will also need to be stated.
Once you have filled out this paperwork, you will need to get an extra copy so that you can serve your spouse. Talk to your district court clerk about the ways you can serve your spouse the paperwork.
The state of Texas is a bit unique because it allows you to insist on a jury trial if you want your marriage to be voided. Whether you are in front of a judge or a jury, you’ll need to prove that your annulment is based on legal grounds. If your marriage is found to have never been valid, it will be annulled.
Legally dissolving a marriage can feel completely overwhelming. When you understand what forms you will need to file in order to obtain a divorce, though, it can take away some of the stress of the unknown. It can also help you make an informed decision about whether or not you will want to hire a lawyer to help you navigate the process.
In many instances, the things we worry the most about are those we don’t know anything about. When it comes to divorce, this is also the case. Learning as much as you can about divorce in Texas can empower you to make decisions that support your best interests.
That being said, it’s worth noting that the information here simply can’t substitute for a consultation with an experienced lawyer. They will be able to take into account the specifics of your circumstance and give you advice about the different possible courses of action you could take.
For more resources about Texas laws regarding divorce, marriage, annulment, and more in Texas, be sure to check out our ever-growing library at TexasDivorceLaws.org.
Prenups have become increasingly popular among millennials in recent years. Because this generation is typically getting married later than their parents did, it's more common for them to enter into marriages with more assets to protect and debts to deal with. If you're engaged, you might be wondering: what should a woman ask for in a prenup?
The short answer is: it depends. After learning more about prenups, you might find that a premarital agreement really isn't necessary for you and your spouse-to-be. On the other hand, you could decide that a prenup will protect the interests of both of you in a way that is worth pursuing.
If you're interested in creating a prenup, it's a good idea to start talking to your partner sooner rather than later. It's also advisable to familiarize yourself with the laws surrounding prenups in your state to understand what would and wouldn't be enforceable in court.
What are the types of things you might want to include in a prenup as a woman? Do you even need a prenup? Let's dive in and take a look at what you need to know.
A prenup isn't always justifiable, but whether or not it makes sense for you will have to do with your specific circumstances. Let's take a look at some of the most common reasons that couples might choose to get a prenup before tying the knot.
If either you or your partner has been in a marriage before, it's possible that the previously married party might only be willing to get remarried if there is a prenup in place. This might be particularly true for individuals who went through an agonizing, drawn-out divorce.
People that have been previously married and divorced are typically more aware of the issues that can pop up during the divorce process. Additionally, their future rights and obligations in the case of a divorce judgment or decree could also be impacted by a previous divorce.
It is common for a person that is getting married with children from a previous marriage to want to protect the financial interests of those children.
Are you bringing quite a bit of debt to the marriage? Does your spouse-to-be have hefty student loan debts or medical bills? If so, you might choose to get a prenup in order to outline who will be responsible for repaying those debts in the marriage and how liability for those debts will be distributed in the case of divorce.
You might include in your prenup that no premarital debts that belong to one spouse can be paid using joint property acquired during the marriage. Or, you might require that the business debts of one spouse can't be paid using joint funds. If you don't have this type of agreement outlined in a prenup, creditors might try to collect the premarital debts of one spouse from joint assets that were acquired during the marriage.
One common reason that couples choose to get prenups is when there is a sizeable gap in the wealth of the two parties. If you choose to marry someone that is quite a bit wealthier than you, you could have rights to property division and spousal support down the road without a prenup.
These agreements can be beneficial to both parties. Even if you are the party with less money entering the marriage, it's possible that you will end up becoming the wealthier party through the course of the marriage. If this is the case, you will end up being protected in the case of a divorce as well.
Some couples might choose to get a prenup in part so that they can create confidentiality clauses that help to protect private information. It's also possible to include an agreement that any disputes will be handled by arbitration, which can help to keep private information away from the public eye.
If either of you owns a business before marriage, it can make sense to have a prenup in place before marriage. This is because a divorce could potentially injure or completely destroy a family business. If you own a business along with other people, you might want a prenup to ensure that your business partners' share of the business isn't affected by the marriage dissolving.
Another reason people might pursue a prenup is to protect generational wealth and future inheritance. While an inheritance wouldn't necessarily be considered joint property in the marriage, there are still ways that the inheritance can be unintentionally commingled with marital property.
In order to avoid this, it's always best to keep an inheritance in a separate account that belongs only to the person who received the inheritance. Getting a prenup, though, can also help to clear up any confusion over whether or not the inheritance remains the property of the inheritor in the case of a divorce.
If you're going to be a stay-at-home parent, prenups can help ensure that you are protected if you end up getting divorced down the road. When you stay home to raise children, you are choosing to do so instead of pursuing a career. Without a prenup, this can put you at a disadvantage if you get divorced and need to rejoin the job market.
For this reason, a prenup might include decisions about providing property or a sufficient income for the stay-at-home parent to ensure that they can maintain a comfortable lifestyle if a divorce occurs.
A woman might want a prenup for many of the same reasons a man would. A prenuptial agreement can help to protect both of your financial future and also save a lot of potential disagreement in the future.
While prenups might seem like a pretty unromantic task to attach to a marriage, they can actually be a worthwhile investment. They can serve as an outline of your finances as a couple while also helping to avoid a contentious and expensive divorce if the marriage ends up not working out.
Whether or not it makes sense for you to get a prenup depends on your particular circumstances. If you're wondering whether or not it's worth it to get a prenup, see if you and your spouse-to-be fall into any of the categories listed in the section entitled "Do You Need a Prenup?"
If you are on the fence about whether or not a prenup is necessary for your circumstance, consider seeking the counsel of a legal expert. They will be able to give you advice that is tailored to your financial and personal situation.
Are you about to get married and you're interested in having a prenup before you say "I do"? What you ask for in a prenup will depend greatly on your specific situation.
For example, if you are the breadwinner in the family, you might be concerned about what will happen to your non-marital property if you get divorced. If you are a homemaker, on the other hand, you might be more concerned with outlining an agreement regarding spousal support.
It's important to remember that a lot can change over the course of a marriage. Even if you are making more money than your fiance now, it could end up that they end up making the bulk of your marital income down the road. When you're creating a prenup, you want to outline an understanding that will protect both of you in the case of a divorce, regardless of the property or debts that are acquired during the marriage.
There is no set checklist of things to ask for in a prenup. Let's take a look at some common aspects of prenups that you might want to include depending on your circumstances.
Most states in the United States are common law property states. This term refers to a system where any property that one individual acquires during a marriage is owned solely and completely by that person. However, if you and your spouse jointly purchase an asset or take on debt, ownership or liability is split 50/50.
There are eight states in the United States, however, that are community property states. These are:
In these states, all assets that are acquired while the two of you are married are considered marital property. Spouses in these states own all marital property equally. This can include all property, earnings, and debts that were accrued when the two of you were married.
Assets that were acquired before the marriage, however, are considered separate property in these states. Separate property also includes property inherited by just one spouse, property given to just one spouse either before or during the marriage, or property owned by just one spouse prior to the marriage.
It's a good idea to understand the laws regarding property ownership and marriage in your state when you are drafting a prenup.
An important step in creating a prenup is making an exhaustive list of all of the assets and debts that each of you own. You will want to consider how you want premarital assets and debts to be dealt with both during the marriage and if you end up getting divorced.
You can also use your prenup as an opportunity to decide whether your separate property will remain separate when you enter the marriage. If one of you chooses to help pay off the other's debts using premarital property, you can also outline whether the paying spouse will be reimbursed or if this payment is a gift.
Lastly, you can also use your prenup to outline how you will purchase a home that you'll own together. If one of you is planning on using premarital property to purchase the house, you can outline whether the paying spouse is gifting this to the other or expects to be reimbursed.
Also known as spousal support, alimony is something that you can include in prenups but you certainly don't have to. The first thing you'll want to do is look at your specific state laws regarding alimony and decide whether or not you want to make agreements about spousal support that differ from these laws.
In your prenup, you can address whether there will be any limitations regarding spousal support in terms of the duration, amount, and terms of support if a divorce were to occur.
Another consideration when you are deciding whether or not to address alimony in your prenup is whether or not both of you expect to work and contribute to the household.
After you get married, how will you and your spouse handle the income and assets that you accumulate together? Prenups aren't just documents that outline what happens in case of divorce or death, but can also serve as an opportunity to create a written agreement regarding your family's financial plan.
It isn't uncommon for married couples to have very different styles of dealing with money. While this can certainly end up just fine, in other instances it can be a recipe for a lot of disagreement in a marriage.
In your prenup, you can outline how you and your spouse plan to deal with all matters of financial issues, such as how bills will get paid, how financial decisions will get made, and whether you will maintain bank accounts that are separate, joint, or both.
Before you get married, it's important to be able to talk openly with your partner about each of your financial situations. This doesn't just include income and assets, but also debts.
This is an opportunity to learn if your partner has bad credit, back taxes, or other issues that could become your problem if aren't careful.
If you and your husband are planning on having children, you might want to sit down and think about how you feel about non-monetary contributions. Many states recognize this type of marital contribution, such as managing the household or raising children. However, it's a good idea to talk these things over before getting hitched.
Discussing your expectations about who will work and what kind of income the two of you will bring to the table can help to avoid disagreements down the road. You can also talk about how you will deal with decisions regarding when to retire, whether you should move for a job, how you will raise children, and whether either of you anticipates a career change at any point.
NOTE: Make sure to check out our article about how you do NOT need an attorney to get a divorce in Texas.
Some women might consider including what is known as an infidelity clause in their prenup. Whether or not doing so is a good idea is kind of a controversial issue, as you might imagine. That being said, it's worth knowing that it's possible when you are considering creating a prenup before marriage.
If your husband doesn't have any history of cheating, many lawyers will suggest striking this type of clause from a prenup. This is because prenups intend to protect the interests of both parties. Without a history of infidelity, it is hard to argue that this fits within the realm of reasonably protecting the interests of you and your husband-to-be.
It's also pretty difficult to prove infidelity in many instances. Not only is the definition of what it means to cheat pretty subjective, but evidence can be difficult to drum up.
Infidelity clauses are actually only one type of contractual clause that falls under the category of a "lifestyle clause." Often, the terms of these clauses imply a financial penalty for violating one of the behaviors that is prohibited within the clauses.
Other examples of lifestyle clauses include:
While some of these might seem a little ridiculous, some couples choose to outline their lifestyle expectations in these ways.
But these don't really hold up in court, do they?
Basically, it depends. Different states have different laws about prenuptial agreements and what kind of clauses are enforceable in court.
For example, the Supreme Court of Florida found that all provisions in a prenup can be enforced, even when "unreasonable," so long as both people entered into the agreement freely.
On the other hand, an appellate court in California found that holding a spouse responsible for cheating through an infidelity clause wasn't consistent with the no-fault divorce policies of the state.
If you are planning on getting married, it's a good idea to start the process as soon as possible. If you wait until too close to the wedding, you can stress the decision-making process because emotions will naturally be running high.
Some experts recommend finalizing your prenup at least thirty days before you plan to get married. It is common for the party that is bringing more assets or income to the marriage to hire an attorney that drafts the prenup. The other partner also gets their own lawyer, who reviews and negotiates the prenup terms and offers suggestions for edits or changes.
At least seven days before the prenup is signed, the final draft needs to be presented to the individual whose lawyer didn't draft the agreement. When everyone involved has agreed to the draft, the agreement can be executed.
In most states, issues of child custody and support included in prenups are not required to be enforced. It is typically advised that you don't include terms regarding child custody and support. However, you will want to discuss this with your lawyer who will understand what is and what isn't permitted in your state when it comes to these types of prenup clauses.
Prenups must be signed by both parties voluntarily. So what do you do if your fiancé doesn't want to sign one?
One approach is to try and help your husband-to-be understand how a prenup can be useful to both of your interests. Maybe you have a lot of student loan debt, for example, and the prenup could help protect him from being liable.
You can also take this opportunity to explain why you think a prenup is a good idea. You can discuss the benefits of prenups that have to do with family financial planning and point out that they aren't just documents that outline what happens in case of a divorce.
That being said, all you can really do is try to argue in favor of how a prenup will benefit you. At the end of the day, they have to be willing to voluntarily sign. You are then left to decide whether or not you're willing to get married without a prenuptial agreement.
If you're a bride-to-be in Texas, it's a good idea to understand the specific laws about prenups in the Lone Star State. On top of that, you might want to familiarize yourself with other marriage and divorce laws in Texas. Be sure to check out TexasDivorceLaws.org for more useful resources.
There are eight states in the U.S. that legally acknowledge common-law marriages, and Texas is one of them. What is a "common law" marriage, exactly? Why would a couple choose to get a common law marriage in Texas rather than having a formal marriage?
Some people might choose to sign a Declaration of Informal Marriage with the county clerk, which serves as valid proof of marriage without having to go through the formal process. Others might want to prove that they had agreed to be married for the purposes of determining inheritance rights or in order to split their property and debts in a divorce.
Filing this declaration can help to avoid issues down the road. However, it isn't necessary in order to be legally married in the eyes of the law. Without filing the declaration, though, you might have to eventually go to court to prove that the marriage existed.
Are you wondering what you need to know about common law marriage in Texas? We've put together the ultimate guide to help you understand the ins and outs of informal marriage in the Lone Star State.
Common-law marriage is a legal and valid way for couples to get married in the state of Texas. People who are married by common law are legally married even though they didn't have a ceremony or go through other formalities typically associated with marriage. When a couple has proven a common law marriage, their union is just as legally valid as a formal marriage and doesn't experience a "lesser status."
Also referred to as an informal marriage or a marriage without formalities, there are a number of conditions that must be met in order for a couple to be married by common law.
In order for a couple to be common law married in Texas, they must have:
Additionally, in order to prove a common-law marriage in Texas, you and your partner must have been at least 18 years old when the marriage was created. A common law marriage is also only valid if neither of you was already married to anyone else when the marriage was created, either formally or informally. Lastly, couples must not be related to one another by blood or adoption.
It's worth noting that the Texas statutes still use the language "as husband and wife." This has not been amended since the Obergefell v. Hodges Supreme Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage in the United States. Even though the wording doesn't accurately reflect what it would mean to be in a common-law marriage for same-sex couples, the state of Texas does, in fact, recognize same-sex common-law marriages.
Gay marriage has been legal in Texas since 2015. To learn more about same-sex marriage and divorce in the Lone Star State, check out this article.
There are a number of common misconceptions about common-law marriages. It's important to understand what is true and what isn't when it comes to common-law marriage to ensure that you have the legal protections you and your partner desire.
One of the most pervasive myths about common-law marriage is that you are automatically common-law married if you live together for a certain period of time. Many people believe that if you live together for seven years you are informally married by default. This is not the case in Texas or anywhere in the U.S., for that matter.
Another myth about common law marriage is that it exists as a loophole in order to avoid divorce. If you and your partner are married by common law and you decide to end the marriage, it will be treated in basically the same way as if you had gotten married formally.
In order to dissolve a common-law marriage, a standard divorce suit or annulment must be used. The marriage is also terminated if one of the parties passes away.
If you and your partner separate physically and have proven that you are common-law married, the legal designation as a married couple does not simply dissolve on its own. You must go through the process of legally divorcing if you want to end a common-law marriage.
However, it's important to note that you might not be permitted to file for divorce even if you meet all of the requirements for a common-law marriage. If you and your partner have separated for two years or more before filing for divorce, a rebuttable presumption applies, assuming that the marriage does not exist.
There are only a handful of states that recognize common-law marriage, and each state has its own laws about what relationships are considered to be legal marriages.
The states that recognize common-law marriages are:
The District of Columbia also recognizes common law marriage. A few other states recognize common-law marriages but with specific stipulations. These are:
If you live in a state that doesn't recognize common law marriage, there isn't any way to form an informal marriage. It is possible that you could get common-law married in a state that recognizes informal marriages and live there for a time before moving to a state that doesn't recognize common law marriage and still have the state recognize your marriage. However, this is a gray area and there isn't any certainty that your marriage will be recognized as legally valid in one of these states.
There are two primary circumstances where you might need to prove the existence of a common-law marriage. These are when determining inheritance rights and when a relationship is ending.
If your partner passes away without a will and you are formally married, you are entitled to an inheritance from their estate. If you and your spouse are common law married, you will need to prove your marriage in order to claim a share of their estate.
Texas law is a community property state. This means that any and all property that is acquired during a marriage, whether common law or formal, is considered community property.
If you are able to prove a common-law marriage, the community property in your marriage will be divided exactly as it would be if you were formally married.
It's worth noting that debts that were acquired during the marriage are also divided between the two partners.
If you are unable to prove that you are common law married, there are no marital assets or debts to be divided in the eyes of the court. In this case, both you and your partner would keep the property titled to you and your personal property. You will also both remain individually responsible for the repayment of your debts.
Your ability to prove a common-law marriage in the face of divorce has an impact on how property and liabilities are dealt with after the relationship ends.
If you and your partner satisfy the criteria outlined above regarding the qualifications for a common-law marriage, you can choose to sign what is known as a Declaration of Informal Marriage. This is a document you sign and submit with the county clerk.
This declaration serves as valid proof of marriage once it has been signed and submitted. For all legal purposes, you are now considered married. You can get one of these forms from your county clerk.
It's worth understanding that creating a common law marriage in Texas doesn't require that you fill out and submit one of these forms. However, doing so can provide official proof of your marriage in a way that allows you to benefit from the privileges and protections of legal marriage in Texas.
If you are separated from a partner that you were once common law married to, you might have reasons that you want to prove your informal marriage. For example, you might want to prove the existence of the marriage for the purposes of child or spousal support.
In order to obtain a proper divorce, you will need to have met all of the elements of a common-law marriage for the time period you state that you were married. After you and your partner separate, you have a two-year period according to the Texas Family Code to prove that your common-law marriage was valid for the purposes of a divorce.
If you don't prove your informal marriage within this time period, there is a rebuttable presumption that there was no existing marriage. The courts will decide that you don't have the legal benefits of a divorce proceeding unless you can rebut or overcome this presumption with sufficient evidence.
Basically, the law presumes that the two of you never intended to be married if you are separated for more than two years without taking any action to dissolve the marriage.
Courts can use a variety of facts to determine whether or not you and your partner are or were informally married. Some of the pieces of information that a court might use to determine whether you are common law married include proof that:
Courts might not use any one of these pieces of proof on their own to determine that you are common law married. However, they might couple the facts together in a way that allows them to rule that you acted like a married couple and that other people believed you were married.
All of the same guidelines for common-law marriage in Texas apply to same-sex couples, as well. In order for same-sex couples to be considered informally married in Texas, you must live in Texas after your agreement to be married. If you didn't live in Texas after you agreed to be married, you can't establish a common-law marriage in the state.
The process for ending a common law marriage in Texas is quite similar to ending a formal marriage. You have to file for divorce in order to dissolve your relationship. However, if you don't file court proceedings within two years of separating from your partner, the court assumes that the marriage never existed unless it is otherwise proven.
Are you wondering what you need to know about DIY divorce in Texas? Check out this article to learn more about getting divorced without a lawyer.
Since 1980, Texas has constitutionally recognized premarital agreements, often referred to as prenups. When done correctly, these agreements are typically enforced by the court.
What about informally married couples, though? Would a prenup drafted before entering a common-law marriage hold up in court?
In a common-law marriage, you can create something known as a cohabitation agreement. These agreements intend to accomplish the same goals as prenups. The difference is that they are used by couples that live together but aren't married.
If you can prove that a marriage existed and you are filing for divorce, the process should be largely similar to dissolving a formal marriage. However, it would be wise to talk to a family law professional about your options if you are entering a common-law marriage but want to be able to outline how assets and debts will be dealt with in the case of a divorce.
Curious to know what the process is like for getting a prenup in Texas? Take a look at this guide to learn more.
You might be wondering why a couple would choose to be informally married rather than formally married. However, some spouses might not want to go through the formality of a wedding ceremony or they might want to save money by avoiding the costs of a formal marriage. It's also possible that a couple simply hasn't gotten around to formalizing their marriage, but they otherwise live together as spouses.
While common-law marriages offer the same protections under Texas law as formal marriages, common-law marriages require that you prove the marriage exists, while formal marriage is automatically valid when you have your official ceremony.
One of the main benefits of common law marriage is that you and your partner will enjoy the same marital responsibilities and rights as any formally married couple without having to go through the formal process of getting married.
Some of the rights and responsibilities that common-law marriages receive, just as formal marriages do, include:
Ultimately, the financial and legal pros and cons of common law marriage are roughly the same as those attached to formal marriage.
A common law marriage does come with some downsides when compared to a formal marriage. The primary disadvantage is that you might have to prove that a marriage existed in the case of divorce or inheritance considerations.
In the case of a divorce, failure to be able to prove the existence of a marriage means that you won't be entitled to a divorce. This means that the typical process of dividing property and debts and determining terms relating to child custody, child support, and spousal support, won't apply.
If you and your partner break up but your spouse denies that you ever agreed to be married, you could end up without any of the property that would have been considered community property if it were a formal or recognized common-law marriage.
One way to largely avoid these downfalls is to sign a Declaration of Informal Marriage and submit it to your county clerk. This declaration is valid proof of the existence of the marriage. For all legal purposes, you are considered married in the eyes of state law.
If you and your partner don't want to get formally married, but you want to receive the same legal rights and responsibilities as a married couple, you can choose to file a declaration with your county clerk. This serves as valid proof of a marriage.
Without this declaration, you might still be considered legally married in the eyes of the law. However, it will be your responsibility to prove to the court that you and your spouse were living together as a married couple in the case of determining inheritance rights or if you choose to get divorced.
If you live in Texas and you don't want to get formally married for any reason, you are lucky to live in one of the few states that will grant you the same rights as formally married couples.
Understanding the Texas laws regarding marriage and divorce can be incredibly beneficial to any couple. This way, you can ensure that you are making decisions that best suit your family now and in the future.
If you're searching for more resources regarding the laws surrounding marriage and divorce in Texas, be sure to check out our growing library of articles at TexasDivorceLaws.org.
