No matter the reasoning behind your divorce, the process and aftermath of ending your marriage is likely one of the most difficult things you've ever been through. For some comfort and inspiration, we've compiled a list of divorce quotes to help you find strength during this time. Sometimes, consulting the ideas of other people who have been through something similar can offer some relief and help you remember that the feelings you're experiencing will pass.
Not only are you dealing with the end of a relationship that you expected would last for the rest of your life, but you likely also have to carry on with the responsibilities of daily life at the same time.
It can feel like you're supposed to act completely unaffected by the dissolution of your marriage as you go to work, pick up your kids from school, and go to the grocery store.
It's important, though, to give yourself the space you need to grieve and heal when you're going through a divorce. Let's take a look at some quotations about strength during divorce, some of which might strike more of a chord than others. Feel free to skim the list and see if you connect with any of the quotes in particular, and use them as a jumping-off point for your emotional processing and healing.
You have likely spent countless hours thinking about whether or not your marriage is something that can be saved. Even when you feel certain about the decision to get a divorce, it can feel difficult to stay strong during the process and in its aftermath. These quotations about strength during divorce can help you find the inspiration you need to carry on down the path you know is right for you.
“When people divorce, it's always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse.” – Monica Bellucci
If you are struggling to accept the fact that your marriage is ending, imagining what the future would look like if you stayed together can help you remember why you're going through this in the first place.
“Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” ― KT Witten
Getting divorced isn't the end of your life but rather the end of a chapter in your life's story.
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” – Robert Brault
Forgiveness is certainly a key player in any divorce. Though you might not ever hear the "I'm sorry" you're waiting for, that doesn't mean you can't learn to forgive and move on.
“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.” – Shannon L. Adler
It's natural to want your spouse to understand the pain that they've caused you. At the end of the day, though, you're keeping yourself from moving on by burning energy dreaming of revenge.
“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” – Jennifer Weiner
While divorce can seem like a catastrophe, the alternative could end up being much worse.
“Sometimes you’re going to have to let one person go a thousand different times, a thousand different ways, and there’s nothing pathetic or abnormal about that. You are human.” ― Heidi Priebe
It's easy to feel like you're emotions during a divorce are more extreme than the average person's, particularly because our culture seems to value hiding our true feelings. Healing from a divorce is hard work, though, and you should never be too hard on yourself for the emotional processing you have to do in order to move on.
On top of the emotional stress of getting divorced, it can also be incredibly financially taxing. If you live in the state of Texas, this article outlines what you should expect when it comes to the cost of divorce.
Healing and moving on after a divorce is likely one of the most difficult things you will ever go through. Regardless of how amicable the divorce process was, there is no escaping the pain that accompanies the end of a marriage.
For a period of time, you might feel deeply stressed and upset by the fact that the future you thought was ahead of you will no longer arrive. It can be hard to picture what your life will look like after divorce. These quotes can help you mull over what it would mean to move on, and see the positive potential that is waiting for you up ahead.
“You cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” ― Michael McMillan
It is easy to dwell on the past when you are getting divorced. You reflect on conversations that you and your spouse had (or maybe ones you didn't have) and wonder if you wouldn't be getting divorced if you had said or done something different.
It's entirely natural to reflect on your marriage and wonder where things went wrong. However, at a certain point, focusing on the past is taking away from your ability to utilize the present to create your future.
“The divorce has lasted way longer than the marriage, but finally it’s over. Enough about that. The point is that for a long time, the fact that I was divorced was the most important thing about me. And now it’s not.” ― Nora Ephron
You might find that getting divorced and being divorced becomes a part of your sense of identity for a while. This is a temporary phase, however, and it doesn't need to be permanent. The more you can look forward to a life where you aren't defined by your divorce, the sooner you can get there.
“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” ― Nora Ephron
This quote was spoken as a part of a commencement speech at a women's college, so it's understandably geared towards a female perspective. However, you can easily substitute "hero" for "heroine" and it is just as applicable to a man who is going through a divorce.
It's easy to feel like a victim in a divorce, particularly if you honestly feel that you can't claim any fault in the breakup. Even if you are in many ways the victim, seeing yourself as such won't be very useful in the process of moving on. You must understand yourself as the protagonist in your story, and a heroic one, at that.
“Hold on to the thought that no emotion lasts forever, no matter how wonderful or how terrible the emotion may be. The tears may last a little longer than you would like, but it will get better. I promise.” ― Osayi Osar-Emokpae
When we are in pain, it can feel like the experience will be infinite. It always does pass, though, and it's important to remember this at the moment. Even though it might seem impossible right now, time will help you heal.
“A breakup is a state of mind that needs encouragement and needs hopeful, forward thinking.” – Lucy Dacus
If you're only looking back during and after a divorce, things can start feeling pretty dire. If you start turning your attention towards the future, though, you might find that you start to sing a different tune. Consider the dreams that you have that are still unfulfilled, and think about what it would mean to make them a reality.
“When your heart is broken you plant seeds in the cracks and wait for rain.” ― Andrea Gibson
There is something so strange, morbid, and beautiful about the fact that the hardest of times often offer the potential for new growth, learning, and potential. You will learn things about yourself in the process of divorce that you may never have discovered if you had remained in your marriage.
This quote is reminiscent of this Rumi quote: "The wound is the place where light enters you." As time passes, you might find that your divorce was essential for a new period of expansion, development, and appreciation for life.
“Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you.” – Rupi Kaur
There will be moments when you want to turn to your spouse for comfort during the process of divorce. Maybe you are even second-guessing the whole thing. A harsh reality of the world, though, is that you will have to find the resources you need to heal within yourself and not in your ex-spouse. While you can certainly lean on close friends and family, at the end of the day, you have what you need inside yourself to fully heal from this chapter of life.
“Don’t spend too much time beating on a wall, hoping it will transform into a door.” – Dr. Laura Schlessinger
In many marriages, there is a moment when one spouse realizes that they've been expecting the other to change for all of these years. Even when divorce is incredibly painful, it can be a huge step to realize that what you expected won't come to pass, the future you anticipated isn't lying ahead of you, and it's time to walk away and create a better life for yourself.
“You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot keep spring from coming.” – Pablo Neruda
The end of a marriage can masquerade as the end of your life. It's really not the case, though. We all have seasons to life, and your divorce simply marks the end of one and the beginning of another. When you recognize this, you open yourself up to the potential of the future in a way that can create possibilities you never thought imaginable.
One of the reasons that divorce can be so difficult is that they sometimes drag on for quite some time, making it difficult for you to move on. If you're getting divorced in Texas, check out this guide to learn how long you should expect your divorce to take.
It's essential that you give yourself time to grieve during the process of divorce and afterward. In our culture, we have a tendency to want to hide our pain and put on a brave face for the world. However, if you don't let yourself deliberately grieve, you'll likely find that the process of getting over the divorce is more painful and drawn out than if you give yourself the space you need to cry and really feel your emotions.
As it has been said, the only avoidable pain is the pain we create trying to avoid feeling pain. It is completely normal to feel sad and devastated after a divorce. Making time for yourself to experience grief will help you accept the end of one chapter of your life so that you can begin another.
“No one can tell you what to expect or can offer a guide to grief. Because every relationship is so unique, no two people grieve the same way. And you have no idea how you are going to grieve till you are grieving.” – Alysia Reiner
There is so much truth in this quote. Even when you know that a marriage is coming to an end, you can never predict exactly what it will feel like once you enter the process of divorce. No matter how much you prepare yourself or read about the experiences of other people, this is one of those things you can't really anticipate until it arrives.
While that might sound grim, understanding that ahead of time can help you realize that you are going through an experience that is unique to you even though countless others have been through something similar. It can help you connect with yourself and accept that you will experience pain along the way, which can in turn help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
“There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.” – Aeschylus
One of the hardest things about divorce is that rarely is a marriage 100% bad.
Chances are, you have spent many wonderful times with your spouse, even if they are acting conniving and malicious during the process of divorce.
Reflecting on these times can feel so painful, and, according to Aeschylus, is the greatest type of pain. You don't have to deny the fact that you loved your spouse and that you had happy times together, but it's also important to remember why ending the relationship is the right choice for you.
“But thinking never took away tears. Only time did.”― Allan Folsom
If you find yourself in the depths of despair during or after a divorce, it's important to remember that time heals all wounds. You can drive yourself crazy by overthinking everything and second-guessing decisions you've made in the past. If you feel like the pain you're feeling won't ever end, try and remember that this too shall pass.
“Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future.” – Swami Sivananda
You likely learned many lessons during your marriage and the process of divorce. Rather than beating yourself up about things you could have done different or even getting into this relationship in the first place, try and see the whole experience as an opportunity to learn valuable lessons about who you want to be, who you want to spend your time with, and what you want your life to be like.
“Tears are the silent language of grief.” – Voltaire
Have you let yourself cry about the end of your marriage? Not just a few tears rolling down your cheeks but a full-on, intense sobbing? You'll find that allowing yourself to fully express your grief can actually leave you with a lightness and a feeling of peace afterward that can be essential to your healing and growth.
Laughter really can be the best medicine sometimes. Though you might not feel like making jokes about your divorce when it's new, over time you'll find the space to find healing through laughter. Considering that explaining jokes typically take the magic out of them, we'll let these quotes speak for themselves.
“Divorce is probably of nearly the same date as marriage. I believe, however, that marriage is some weeks the more ancient.” ― Voltaire
“I can’t get divorced because I’m a Catholic. Catholics don’t get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.” -Lenny Clarke
“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” – Groucho Marx
“Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.” -Joan Rivers
“A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, any more than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.” – Jean Kerr
“Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.” – Mary Kay Blakeley
“Take this marriage thing seriously – it has to last all the way to the divorce.” -Roseanne Barr
“Divorces are made in heaven.” – Oscar Wilde
“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” – Shinichi Suzuki
“Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.” – Jean Kerr
“Love is a voyage of discovery, marriage the goal– and divorce the relief expedition.” – Helen Rowland
When you're getting divorced, it's natural to feel like an emotional wreck. It's important, though, to be able to zoom out and see the situation from a broader perspective. The way you feel now won't last forever, and if you allow yourself the time and space to heal in the ways you need to, you can begin the next chapter of your life.
While you're still dealing with the wreckage of a divorce, it's important to find positive aspects of your life that you can focus on. Build a picture of your future that you can work towards and take it one day at a time. Soon enough, you'll be able to reflect on just how much you were able to learn and grow from the whole endeavor.
Are you getting divorced in Texas? If so, be sure to consult the library of resources at TexasDivorceLaws.org.