Are you starting to get suspicious that your partner is being unfaithful? There are a number of signs your spouse is cheating that you can look out for.
At the same time, it’s important to understand that all of these signs can indicate cheating but could also be resulting from other issues.
If you’re able to confirm that your spouse is actually having an affair, what should your next steps be? Let’s take a look at what you need to know.
How can you know if your spouse is having an affair? While none of the following signs are, on their own, definitive proof of infidelity, noticing several of these signs could be indicative that they are cheating.
It’s never good news when you and your spouse are struggling to communicate with one another. In fact, it can actually be a bad sign when you and your significant other stop fighting.
There’s a good chance there’s an underlying issue if any of the following are happening, though it’s worth noting that infidelity is only one of the potential causes:
It’s generally seen as a good thing when your spouse takes care of themselves. Dieting, dressing nicer than usual, and switching up one’s clothing style aren’t, in themselves, signs of cheating.
However, when combined with other suspect activity, it’s possible this is a sign they are having an affair.
Wondering whether adultery is a common cause for breakups? Check out our article on why people get divorced.
If your partner starts spending more time away from home, it’s possible that it could indicate infidelity.
For example, if your spouse starts a new hobby that requires that they are out of the house for hours a day but don’t want to talk about it and only describe it vaguely, they could be hiding something. When they suddenly are working longer hours with little explanation, this could also be a sign of cheating.
There are a lot of things that could lead to your spouse having a change in attitude. In fact, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing at all.
However, if you notice any of the following, infidelity is one of the potential causes:
Lying is never a good thing in a marriage. Dishonesty as a sign of infidelity can come in the form of lying about cheating itself as well as about other issues.
Some signs to watch out for include:
Another possible sign of infidelity is avoidance. They might be worried about facing questions they won’t know how to answer about who they were with or what they’ve been doing. It’s also a possibility that they feel guilty and don’t want to face you.
Sometimes, people will accuse you of the things they feel guilty about doing themselves. Though it might seem odd, it isn’t uncommon for someone to accuse their spouse of cheating when they are the ones who are being unfaithful.
Showing a lack of interest in things that were once beloved hobbies or topics of interest can also be a sign of cheating. At the same time, this could also mean that they are dealing with depression or another issue.
For example, if you notice that your spouse seems bored with their work, hobbies, their relationship with you, or life in general, it’s possible that they are being unfaithful. They also might become lazy around the house or seem to no longer show any jealousy.
When two people are married for a long time, it’s completely natural for there to be some ebbs and flows to their sex life. At the same time, both too little or too much sexual activity relative to the norm could mean that they are seeing someone else on the side.
Some signs you should look out for in this regard include:
Financial stress is a very common problem in marriages. Few couples will go through their lives together without some conflicts about money.
At the same time, new issues surrounding your finances could be indicative of infidelity. For instance, you might find that there are new charges on your credit card statements that you don’t recognize and your spouse can’t explain. Furthermore, it could be a red flag if they seem to stop planning for large purchases like buying a home or going on a vacation.
If you suspect your partner is cheating, there’s a good sense you’ve thought to snoop through their phone, email, or internet activity.
There are a number of changes in technology use that could potentially indicate infidelity, including:
What are the next steps if you realize your spouse has, in fact, been having an affair? Take a deep breath, make sure you process your emotions, take care of yourself and your kids, and take the time you need to figure out your next steps.
When your suspicions of infidelity on the part of your spouse are confirmed, you’re going to be dealing with an onslaught of emotions. These can include everything from pain, shock, and anger to depression, confusion, and shame.
It can be tempting to try and avoid feeling these extreme emotions, but it’s important to let yourself experience them and accept them. Whether you are certain you’re done with the marriage or you’re hoping you can work it out, give yourself the time and space you need to process everything.
It is perfectly natural to feel anger and even rage when you learn your husband or wife has been cheating. You might even be tempted to try and punish your spouse by having your own affair or talking trash about them to everyone you know.
Before you take any extreme actions, slow down and zoom out to consider the larger implications of your next steps.
Learning that your spouse has been unfaithful is extremely stressful. You might deal with sleep problems, struggle to eat, have a hard time concentrating, or any other number of issues.
Do your best to stay on a schedule, eat healthy foods, get some exercise, and get good sleep during regular hours. Furthermore, make sure you are taking some time to relax and even have some fun!
If there are kids in your marriage, don’t clue them into what is going on.
Sticking your kids in the middle of such an intense and difficult conflict puts them in an impossible position. Don’t put them in a spot where they feel like they have to take sides, even if the affair is going to lead to the dissolution of your marriage.
Working with a therapist or a counselor of some kind can help you make sense of how you feel and what you want to do. When you have the help of an experienced professional, you can learn how to process your feelings in a healthy way and improve your communication skills with your spouse.
Everyone’s relationship is different, and there’s no one right answer regarding what to do when your spouse is unfaithful. Maybe you decide to try and make it work, or maybe it’s the last straw. Give yourself the time you need to make the decision that works best for you and your family.
If you believe that divorce is the right thing for you, one of the most important steps is to learn about what the process of divorce is like in Texas. For more resources about Texas family law, make sure you check out our Texas Divorce Laws blog.