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Signs Your Spouse is Cheating... And What to Do About It in Texas

Sophia Merton
November 9, 2023

Are you starting to get suspicious that your partner is being unfaithful? There are a number of signs your spouse is cheating that you can look out for.

At the same time, it’s important to understand that all of these signs can indicate cheating but could also be resulting from other issues.

If you’re able to confirm that your spouse is actually having an affair, what should your next steps be? Let’s take a look at what you need to know.

Potential Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating

How can you know if your spouse is having an affair? While none of the following signs are, on their own, definitive proof of infidelity, noticing several of these signs could be indicative that they are cheating.

Communication Breakdown

It’s never good news when you and your spouse are struggling to communicate with one another. In fact, it can actually be a bad sign when you and your significant other stop fighting.

There’s a good chance there’s an underlying issue if any of the following are happening, though it’s worth noting that infidelity is only one of the potential causes:

  • Refusing to answer questions
  • Leaving without saying anything
  • Ignoring the things you say
  • Changing the subject in order to avoid topics that are uncomfortable
  • Displaying dismissive body language
  • Acting passive-aggressively

Increased Interest in Appearance

It’s generally seen as a good thing when your spouse takes care of themselves. Dieting, dressing nicer than usual, and switching up one’s clothing style aren’t, in themselves, signs of cheating.

woman putitng on makeup cheating on husband in texas

However, when combined with other suspect activity, it’s possible this is a sign they are having an affair.

Wondering whether adultery is a common cause for breakups? Check out our article on why people get divorced.

Spending More Time Out of the House

If your partner starts spending more time away from home, it’s possible that it could indicate infidelity.

For example, if your spouse starts a new hobby that requires that they are out of the house for hours a day but don’t want to talk about it and only describe it vaguely, they could be hiding something. When they suddenly are working longer hours with little explanation, this could also be a sign of cheating.

Changes in Attitude

There are a lot of things that could lead to your spouse having a change in attitude. In fact, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing at all.

However, if you notice any of the following, infidelity is one of the potential causes:

  • Your spouse is increasingly negative
  • Your spouse is starting to criticize you more often
  • Your spouse seems to have low self-esteem all of a sudden
  • Your spouse seems confused about who they are and what they want in life
  • Your spouse starts fights more often


Lying is never a good thing in a marriage. Dishonesty as a sign of infidelity can come in the form of lying about cheating itself as well as about other issues.

Some signs to watch out for include:

  • Your partner starts to get nervous when you ask them what they were doing or who they were with
  • You realize that your spouse has lied about a number of different things
  • Your spouse starts to get more secretive
  • You notice your spouse’s friends seem nervous and anxious when you’re around


Another possible sign of infidelity is avoidance. They might be worried about facing questions they won’t know how to answer about who they were with or what they’ve been doing. It’s also a possibility that they feel guilty and don’t want to face you.

Accusations of Infidelity (Against You)

Sometimes, people will accuse you of the things they feel guilty about doing themselves. Though it might seem odd, it isn’t uncommon for someone to accuse their spouse of cheating when they are the ones who are being unfaithful.

Apathy or Lack of Interest

Showing a lack of interest in things that were once beloved hobbies or topics of interest can also be a sign of cheating. At the same time, this could also mean that they are dealing with depression or another issue.

woman with lack of interest as sign of cheating in texas

For example, if you notice that your spouse seems bored with their work, hobbies, their relationship with you, or life in general, it’s possible that they are being unfaithful. They also might become lazy around the house or seem to no longer show any jealousy.

Changes in Intimacy

When two people are married for a long time, it’s completely natural for there to be some ebbs and flows to their sex life. At the same time, both too little or too much sexual activity relative to the norm could mean that they are seeing someone else on the side.

Some signs you should look out for in this regard include:

  • Your spouse has been introducing new things in the bedroom all of a sudden
  • You have been faithful, but you developed a sexually transmitted infection
  • Your sex life basically doesn’t exist
  • Your relationship has significantly less connection or intimacy

Unexplained Expenses

Financial stress is a very common problem in marriages. Few couples will go through their lives together without some conflicts about money.

At the same time, new issues surrounding your finances could be indicative of infidelity. For instance, you might find that there are new charges on your credit card statements that you don’t recognize and your spouse can’t explain. Furthermore, it could be a red flag if they seem to stop planning for large purchases like buying a home or going on a vacation.

Secretive Phone or Computer Use

If you suspect your partner is cheating, there’s a good sense you’ve thought to snoop through their phone, email, or internet activity.

man texting another woman when married in texas

There are a number of changes in technology use that could potentially indicate infidelity, including:

  • Your spouse seems to hide their phone from you and doesn’t want you to use it
  • Your spouse is frequently sneaking away to take phone calls or is always texting
  • Your spouse won’t share their password with you after changing it
  • Your spouse clears the browser history every time they use the computer
  • Your spouse becomes unreachable at specific times all of a sudden

If you’re thinking about getting a divorce, check out our articles about the cost of divorce in Texas, how long a divorce takes, and whether Texas is a no-fault divorce state.

What to Do If Your Spouse Is Cheating In Texas

What are the next steps if you realize your spouse has, in fact, been having an affair? Take a deep breath, make sure you process your emotions, take care of yourself and your kids, and take the time you need to figure out your next steps.

Don’t Push Down Your Feelings

When your suspicions of infidelity on the part of your spouse are confirmed, you’re going to be dealing with an onslaught of emotions. These can include everything from pain, shock, and anger to depression, confusion, and shame.

It can be tempting to try and avoid feeling these extreme emotions, but it’s important to let yourself experience them and accept them. Whether you are certain you’re done with the marriage or you’re hoping you can work it out, give yourself the time and space you need to process everything.

Zoom Out

It is perfectly natural to feel anger and even rage when you learn your husband or wife has been cheating. You might even be tempted to try and punish your spouse by having your own affair or talking trash about them to everyone you know.

Before you take any extreme actions, slow down and zoom out to consider the larger implications of your next steps.

Focus on Self-Care

Learning that your spouse has been unfaithful is extremely stressful. You might deal with sleep problems, struggle to eat, have a hard time concentrating, or any other number of issues.

man meditating as a form of self care when spouse is cheating in texas

Do your best to stay on a schedule, eat healthy foods, get some exercise, and get good sleep during regular hours. Furthermore, make sure you are taking some time to relax and even have some fun!

Keep the Kids Out of It

If there are kids in your marriage, don’t clue them into what is going on.

Sticking your kids in the middle of such an intense and difficult conflict puts them in an impossible position. Don’t put them in a spot where they feel like they have to take sides, even if the affair is going to lead to the dissolution of your marriage.

Seek Help

Working with a therapist or a counselor of some kind can help you make sense of how you feel and what you want to do. When you have the help of an experienced professional, you can learn how to process your feelings in a healthy way and improve your communication skills with your spouse.

Think About Your Next Steps

Everyone’s relationship is different, and there’s no one right answer regarding what to do when your spouse is unfaithful. Maybe you decide to try and make it work, or maybe it’s the last straw. Give yourself the time you need to make the decision that works best for you and your family.

If you believe that divorce is the right thing for you, one of the most important steps is to learn about what the process of divorce is like in Texas. For more resources about Texas family law, make sure you check out our Texas Divorce Laws blog.

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Written By:
Sophia Merton
Sophia received her BA from Vassar College. She is a researcher and writer that aims to help make the complexities of the legal system understandable to the layperson. Believing that people can be empowered by understanding their rights and responsibilities under the law, Sophia aims to offer accurate and well-researched information in straightforward and easy-to-digest legal articles.

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